Wise Men Still Seek Him

Lesson Learned:

May we all remember to seek Him and give His love to those around us. 

There is still my joy

Be sure to push pause on the music playing below.  I don't love the little slideshow but it was the only video I could find with this song that was somewhat watchable. 

Lesson Learned:

I fell in love with this song. It's been such a long two weeks for my family. One thing I have learned though is exactly what this song portrays.

"There is still my joy."

Through all of life's experiences, trials, hardships, and afflictions....It is comforting to know that the one thing I have through all of it is my joy.  I can still have joy.

(2 Nephi 10)
"23 Therefore, cheer up your hears and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves--to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life.
24...that it is only in and through the grace of God that ye are saved."

(2 Nephi 11)
"5....my soul delighteth in his grace, and in his justice, and power, and mercy in the great and eternal plan of deliverance from death.
7 For there be no Christ there be no God; and if there be no God we are not, for there could have been no creation. But there is a God, and he is Christ, and he cometh in the fulness of his own time."

Because of that child we celebrate this time of year,  we can still have joy. We are free to choose that joy.

Love

My sweet Aunt Leslie's words:
"I started this week in the wee morning hours of Saturday, November 26th pleading to the Lord to keep my sweet husband, Gary alive. We ended this week in the wee morning hours on Saturday, December 3rd praying for his release. Friday evening family gathered and we held a short family meeting where my Father shared some scriptures with us from the Savior's last hours. My elder brother then gave Gary a beautiful blessing for peace and release. Because of some delays caused by the necessary steps to be taken for Gary's wishes of being an organ donor, we waited for the call for the go ahead with removing respiration. We received that call around 1:00am. They removed respiration around 1:20am but he didn't pass until 6:48 am. It was painful to watch him struggling to hold on to life. But there was a sweet peace upon his passing. I can't even begin to imagine how Heavenly Father was able to watch his Son on the cross. What a beautiful message for me to turn to this same atonement for strength, comfort, and peace.
We have truly felt the prayers and love that have gone out in our behalf. It is only through these that I am still standing. Daniel and I returned home on Saturday evening. Carli & Bo have joined us for the coming week. I know many of you want to touch base but a few days without visitors will allow us to get our feet on the ground. We are just beginning funeral service arrangements but it looks likely to be held on Thursday, December 8th. I will check both email and text messages. We are so blessed. All is well."
Leslie Burt

Lesson Learned:


I have been amazed at what the love of a family can do.  It is no wonder the Lord's plan is centered on the family.  I have learned so much in the past few days, things that I will cherish forever and hold dear to my heart, things I probably should keep between me and the Lord. It has truly been a gift to see so close at hand the will of the Lord and His plan for His children.  He truly is a merciful God of all and His plan is perfect. My heart aches for Leslie and her dear children Chris & Giannina, Carli & Bo, Spencer (currently in England serving a mission for the Lord), and Daniel. They are an amazing family and have held strong together during this tragic time in their lives. I pray they each have the comfort and strength they need to withstand the heartache. 

“He died not for men, but for each man. If each man had been the only man made, He would have done no less.” 
― C.S. Lewis

Love is a powerful thing. The love of family. The love of friends. The love of our Heavenly Father. The love of the Savior. Love heals, binds, and gives hope.  His love is perfect and endless.  This love has been felt this past week in our family and we are extremely grateful. 

My uncle Ben posted a few pictures in tribute of a great man.  I don't know if everyone can look at them because it's his face book page but you can sure give it a try. Gary Burt- Fish on, my friend.

Obedience

Lesson Learned:
"Obedience brings blessings. Exact obedience brings miracles."
(Unknown)

Service

Lesson Learned:

Faith

Lesson Learned:

"Faith is not something you demonstrate to GET what you want.  Faith is what you demonstrate no matter WHAT you get.  No matter how hard, no matter how long."
(Ardeth Kapp)

Individual Worth

Lesson Learned:
"Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God."
(Doctrine & Covenants 18:10)

"If only we could see ourselves the way God sees us."

We are great in the eyes of God. We need to treat ourselves as such.

Beautiful Heartbreak

Lesson Learned:

Plans

I feel like I'm sitting on pins and needles waiting, waiting, waiting to hear where we are going for the next 3-ish years. Sometimes it's very frustrating to be patient, ha.  I look back to even a year ago and remember that I was NOT excited to move, be an Air Force wife, etc... Funny how that wasn't my plan and yet it was the Lord's plan. And how it was when I was fully committed to letting Him guide my life that I found peace in my future. In His plan for me. Funny how that works. Be obedient, have faith, and He guides and blesses you. It's perfect, nothing can change that. If you do your part He has to do His.  I could be totally freaking out right now with the unknown of my future but for some reason I just have peace. Peace and excitement. Why? Because I know the Lord will do His part in guiding me to where I need to be. Because I feel I have done my best to be obedient and have faith in Him. (Really, it's a daily process, but I continue to try and do better everyday. I'm not perfect. Far from it.) Why else do I have faith in Him? Because I know He wants me to be happy, and I know He knows the best way to get me to perfect happiness. Doesn't mean I won't have trials along the way, because without those trials I can't find that perfect happiness.  You can still be happy and have trials. Trust me.

Lesson Learned:
"...whatever is meant to be will work out perfectly."
(Avril Lavine, "Hold On" lyrics)

"Having faith in the Lord is also having faith in His timing." (Unknown)

I have learned over the years that all we can do is be obedient to His will and in doing so things work out how they are supposed to.  Sometimes we cannot clearly understand His purpose and plan for us, but I have faith knowing "...whatever is meant to be will work out perfectly." His plan never fails. Period. We just need to trust Him a bit more.

Peace, faith, gratitude

Last week we found out my husband got the engineer slot in the Air Force, we have been waiting for a very long time (last March) to find this out. And in waiting, it's interesting the things that have happened that have prepared me for my future as a military wife. Even after he put in for the slot I STILL didn't love the idea of the military. I struggled, really struggled. It's hard to explain the emotions felt but lets just say it was not something I dreamed about as a little girl.

Something changed in the last few months. I don't know exactly when it happened but I know what made it happen. My feelings of fear, anger, sadness, and abandonment have almost all but left me. In their place, I have deep gratitude and peace. 

Gratitude for my Heavenly Father, Savior, family, friends, strangers I've crossed paths with, and my country. Especially for my Heavenly Father and Savior. I put my complete faith and trust in them. My whole future. No back up plan. And in doing that one thing, they gave me more then I even bargained for.  Not only did the Lord take care of me and reassure to me that He will ALWAYS be there to take care of me but He gave me many life experiences that has taught me some very valuable things the past couple months. My perspective on a lot things has changed, and to that I am deeply grateful. My days are filled with more joy because of this perspective. I am more grateful for the little things. Like that old guy at the grocery store who stopped to simply try and make my son smile. He will never know that because of him and his friendliness, I'm not scared anymore to go grocery shopping (because of the shooting by my house).  Silly but really.
I am proud to say that I am still nervous, but I am excited. I'm excited to see what my future holds and happy to be a military wife. To support my husband and my country. I have faith knowing the Lord's plan for my little family is important and that He will always be there along the way.

Lesson Learned:
"I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you." (John 14:18)
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (John 14:27)


A very very good friend of mine, some one who I look up to and that I hold very dear to my heart told this to me once (she knows who she is):

"Fear knocked
Faith answered
Nothing was there"


Faith is real. It works. The Lord is real. He is there. He answers prayers. And He will never leave us. I know that to be true because I have tried faith and have felt His guiding hand in my life. Even in the darkest moments. To that I will be forever grateful.

hobby or calling

Lesson Learned:

"Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for."

-Neil A. Andersen

I am His daughter

I recently heard this song on the radio and fell in love with it.  The words are so powerful and have truly helped me feel of more worth and recognize my divine potential as a daughter of God.

Lesson Learned:

Be sure to push pause on the music below to watch this video.

*I am His Daugther*

The photos in the magazines

Don't dictate who I'm supposed to be

The world can't recognize, all that I am inside

But I know in His eyes, I am a part of, the bigger picture.

{Chorus}

There's so much more to me 

He helps me see that I have so much to offer 

I am His daughter

He loves me the way I am,

He's my strength when I stand

He is my King, and my Father,

I am His daughter

The People on the TV screen, 

The leaders, rulers, and queens

I watch them shape the world,

And though I'm just a girl, I still know for sure, 

That I am a part of, the bigger picture

{Chorus}

And when I'm feeling small,

 And wondering if I'll ever, find courage to stand tall

Through His love I remember

{Chorus}

(by,  Nicole Sheahan)

small but significant

Ok, so this past weekend we just had General Conference for my church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints).  For some reason this specific conference hit me hard.  So many things were said that I really needed to hear. If I wrote them all down in this post it would be a novel, so I will post my feelings on it one post at a time, whatever I feel to be right at the time. Today this felt right. 


Lessons Learned:
"My dear brothers and sisters, it may be true that man is nothing in comparison to the greatness of the universe. At times we may even feel insignificant, invisible, alone or forgotten. But always remember---you matter to Him!...
...no matter where you live, no matter how humble your circumstances, how meager your employment, hoe limited your abilites, hoe ordinary your appearance, or how little your calling the Church may appear to you, you are not invisible to your Heavenly Father. He loves you. He knows your humble heart and your acts of love and kindness. Together, they for a lasting testimony of your fidelity and faith...
...Brothers and sisters, the most powerful Being in the universe in the Father of your spirit. He knows you. He loves you with perfect love...
...God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season---He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him..."
(Dieter F. Uchtdorf) His whole talk found here.


I am a wife, stay-at-home mother, beautician, sister, daughter, friend, and I serve in my ward as the Young Women Secretary. I live in a very small 1 bedroom condo. I am small and ordinary and at times I feel my life to be of no extra-ordinary significance... but I know that I matter. I am significant in the eyes of the Lord. I matter. You matter. I know this to be true. 

Motherhood

{caution: one very long rambling post}
I got my wisdom teeth removed this past weekend and it has been quite the experience. Funny thing is I learned something I didn't think I would learn through this whole process. I learned about motherhood.

Everyday, I get up with Porter.  I get him out and he usually likes to cuddle with me. We usually spend the first few minutes of being awake laying in my bed while I read my scriptures and he plays on my ipod or flips through a book as well. We then proceed to make the bed, brush our teeth, get breakfast  etc... Most days are pretty much the same. Some vary depending on if it's laundry day, I have errands to run, places to go to, but all in all my days are spent taking care of this little man. He goes everywhere with me. He does everything with me. My day revolves around him. If I need to get something done that is a little more delicate like a craft I have to wait to put him down for a nap to work on it. If I want to go somewhere I have to time it so it's not during lunch or nap time or he is one grumpy kid on that particular errand.  I have to make sure to shower at times when I know he won't be destroying the house or getting into danger.  My house is a never ending cleaning chore. There's always laundry. Always dishes to do. Always vacuuming needed to be done.  No matter how many times I clean out that high chair it is never clean cause he just eats in it an hour later.  There's always picking up to do. I don't think there is ever a time it stays clean longer then 5 minutes unless we are gone.  I don't sit down much. Whether I'm cleaning or Porter is constantly needing help with something, or he needs a snack, or he needs this or he needs that. There is always something. I am always needed. Motherhood.

I never wanted to be the typical family where the husband works and the wife slaves away at home. Where there is no compromise.  It's just how it is.  I wanted something a little bit more. Just a little bit more compromise. Teamwork. However, I've always wanted to be a "stay-at-home" mom, that's why I chose the career I did, so I could support a family if I need to but I can also do it at home with my children. I don't ever think I realized what a "stay-at-home" mother entailed.  I got to a point a few weeks ago where I was in desperate need of change. My life felt very routine. I've been doing the same thing for a year and a half.  I wondered if being the "stay-at-home" mom was worth it. I wondered if I was even needed. If I was even making a difference.  I was so sick of cleaning that high chair out and changing the poopy diapers everyday, it was getting old. I started to wonder why? Why is it up to me to get all that done? Why is it my job?  Why is it I take care of Porter all day and then as soon as papa comes home he just wants him. He doesn't want me. Is my work even noticed. I don't have a pay check to prove my hard work. I don't have a boss that gives me good ratings. Sometimes I feel like I work so hard and then it just was forgotten by the end of the day.

Lesson Learned:
"No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you, with an infinite love."
(President Dieter F. Uchtdorf)

This talk is amazing. It really really really helped me.  There were so many good things said. Everybody keeps posting it and recommend reading it, well I recommend listening to it or reading it if you haven't yet. No matter the stage of life you are in.


It hit me this weekend, really hard. I woke up Saturday morning in a lot of pain from the surgery the day before. Porter was crying. He woke up and the first thing I wanted to do was get him out of his crib and love him. Then I realized I couldn't. I couldn't move. I was incapable of being a mother this weekend. My husband did an amazing job at taking care of me and Porter.  I am so grateful.  But I learned this weekend that I am truly blessed to be a mother. I've known of many mother's who lost the ability to be a mother. (My prayers continue to go out to you.) I didn't lose a child this weekend, or permanently lose my ability to function as a human being but for a short time I couldn't be a mother. It hurt. As grateful as I was to be able to rest and heal and have my husband take care of everything, it took all I had to not get up and just start being a mom. I ached for it. I couldn't talk much either so I couldn't even tell Brian what to do. I just had to sit there and let him do it. Figure it out. Through out the weekend Porter would be sad and want to come give me a love, I couldn't even give him a normal love because I was afraid he would accidentally deck me in the mouth.  I started to realize that I truly do love doing what I do. Heavenly Father has entrusted me with one of His greatest gifts, Motherhood. I am truly blessed. I learned this weekend that I enjoy every minute of it.  At times it may seem stressful and that I go unnoticed but I realized that the greatest work I can be doing is what I'm doing. I am important.  And the best part is is I realized that it brings me so much joy. Funny how it's when lose what you have, that's when you appreciate it. Or at least you really take the time to think about appreciating it. I am grateful to be a mom. I am grateful to clean that stinking high chair out 4 times a day. Why because it reminds me that I am building a better foundation for one of Heavenly Father's children. There is nothing greater then watching your child learn and grow.  The moments when they fold their arms for the first time for prayer, or they say thank you with out you asking, or they come and give you a hug just because, those are the moments that make it worth it. The moments that give you the joy.  I will forever remember this weekend, not because of the pain and agony I went through (still trying to heal) but because I learned. I learned that I am truly blessed to be a mother. And that I truly enjoy being a mother. (all that comes with it) I will always be grateful for that knowledge and try not to take it for granted. Another tender mercy found for me. Now on to the rest of my day, being a mom. :) 

Now

Lesson Learned:

"Now is the time to stand fast in our faith and on our principles. . . Now is the time to show our appreciation for the atoning sacrifice of our Lord Jesus Christ. . . .Now is the time to warn our neighbors by sharing the gospel message with them. Now is the time to provide the world with an example of decency and modesty, an example of virtue and cleanliness. . . . Now is indeed the time to show we are on the Lord's side."
Elder Robert C. Oaks

I'd rather not be one of the ten virgins that didn't have enough oil. I'd rather be the one that had plenty of oil and clearly showed the bridegroom what my intentions were. Ready. It seems I always think there will be time later to get this done, or get that done. When in reality if I don't do it then it doesn't get done. I always think, one day when I serve a mission with my husband I'll be brave enough to share the gospel. Give a random person a Book of Mormon. To be honest I don't know if I will even get that opportunity. Now, not later, is the time to live the Gospel. Right now. So here I go, trying to be more brave and as each day comes to try and fully live it better according to what I know to be true. Be more willing. Be more charitable. Have more faith. Today is the day I try to live up to my potential as a daughter of Heavenly Father. 

Change

I had an experience when I was younger that was really a defining moment on how I perceived change. And that is was a good thing. I had just had a summer of pure bliss with a really good friend.  Everyday was spent doing something unproductive and fun. I really felt I had gained a "best" friendship, so to speak. Then it seemed to happen overnight, suddenly we stopped hanging out and our friendship dwindled really fast. There were never any hard feelings or anything to end it. . .  it just stopped. I had a really hard time with this.  I kept thinking why something so great would just end.  Why couldn't that friendship be what it was forever. Then one night as I was praying I had this overwhelming feeling of happiness. And I realized a couple things. First, that change is good. Second, that sometimes Heavenly Father puts people into our lives for a specific reason and then when that reason has been fulfilled they leave. Simple as that. I look back and realize she was my friend at a crucial time in my life and helped me gain the confidence I needed to overcome future trials that were coming my way.


Lesson Learned:
"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us."
(Helen Keller )


I feel as though change is coming on. It's that same feeling I got when I graduated from high school. It's the same feeling I got when I started college, when I first met Brian, when I got married, when Porter came into our lives. Whatever the change may be, I still have a hard time with change, even though I know that it is a good thing. I just hope to remember that one good thing is ending to make room for another good thing later.

Repentance is like a pair of pants

When I was younger I came up with this analogy. I'm sure someone somewhere has come up with the same thing but as far as I know I haven't heard it yet. My husband thought I was crazy when I first told him about it. He gave me this look like here we go again,  Kim and her weird, random comparisons to life. Ha. In YW we have been talking about Repentance this month and it reminded me of my analogy.
Repentance is like a pair of pants:

1.    Recognize that your pants are dirty: Recognizing sin.

2.    Take the pants off: Stop sinning. Nobody wants to wear a dirty pair of pants.

3.    Put them in the washer: Going to the right source for help. Whether you need your bishop, parents, or just need to kneel down and talk to your Heavenly Father about it. Sometimes we stop the sin but don't take all the steps necessary for the forgiveness to take place. Just as sometimes our pants get thrown in a corner or stay in the laundry basket to be forgotten or not cleaned yet. We need to take them to the washer.

4.    Wash Cycle:  Represents the Atonement.  There are different types of cycles depending on the quality of the clothes. Just as we sin there are different severities and need to be taking care of in their specific needs.  When all is said and done the Atonement can make us clean once more. Some cycles are just more delicate then others. And some just take more time.

5.    Laundry detergent, bleach, and stain remover:  We can’t just expect a pair of pants to be put in the washer and become clean.  We have to put the effort into making them clean.  Just as you would put laundry detergent, bleach or stain removers in to ensure your pants will come out clean after the wash cycle, we as individuals need to make sure we are doing our part of the deal when we are asking for forgiveness. Reading our scriptures, daily prayer, attending church, fasting, and living the gospel to our best ability are steps we need to take in order to have the Atonement work in our lives. So we can become clean again.

6.    Dry Cycle: When the wash cycle is done it is important to dry your pants or they will become stiff, wrinkly, and uncomfortable to wear again.  Just as Heavenly Father forgives us it is also required of us to forgive ourselves.  When we are truly forgiven of our mistakes and when we truly forgive ourselves we have a sense of peace and comfort. We feel clean again. It is no longer a burden.  When your pants are dry from the dryer they are warm, wrinkle free, and soft once more. Ready to wear again.  

Lesson Learned:

The Atonement is meant to heal, it was never meant to be easy. It is meant to break us down and rid us of our stains. We are meant to feel “Godly Sorrow.” (Wash Cycle)

“God the Father is merciful and has infinite love for you despite your
faults. Only the voice of Satan will cause you to feel of no value. In
contrast, the Holy Ghost will cause you to feel 'godly sorrow' unto
repentance in a manner that fills you with hope of positive change."
(Anthony D. Perkins, "The Great and Wonderful Love," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 77)

Trash or treasure

Sometimes I get so caught up with the things of the world. Making sure my house is in perfect order (which never happens). Making sure its decorated all cute. Driving a nice car. Having cute, stylish clothes. Buying this, buying that. Watching this TV show. Etc....Seriously! Does it really matter. No. Maybe to the world it does. But what if everything were taken away from you. And all you had left was your knowledge.
A man I know said this statement: "If everything were taken away from me, I'm grateful to know they can't take my greatest treasure, my testimony."
I would have to agree with this statement.

Lesson Learned:
"Are you trashing your treasure and treasuring your trash?"

What am I doing to cherish my greatest treasure. To ensure that I will always have it and use it to it's full potential. What am I doing with the rest of my treasures. My husband, my son, my family, my friends, my scriptures, my one on one time with Heavenly Father (Prayer).
On the other hand what am I doing to treasure my trash. Which in turn is causing me to trash my treasures. I'm pretty sure when we return to Heavenly Father and He asks us what we treasured and held on to through out our lives, I don't think He will be impressed with our brand new cars, gorgeous houses, stylish clothes, the newest smart phone, and that we stayed up to date with the "best" TV shows.
Treasure your treasures, not your trash.

Grateful

Lesson Learned:
"If you woke up this morning with only the things you thanked your Heavenly Father for in your prayers last night, what would you have?"
-unknown

french horn or a piccolo?

Lessons Learned:
"Truly, we may each be an instrument in the hands of God. Happily, we need not all be the same kind of instrument. Just as the instruments in an orchestra differ in size, shape, and sound, we too are different from one another. We have different talents and inclinations, but just as the French horn cannot duplicate the sound of the piccolo, neither is it necessary for us to all serve the Lord in the same way." 

(Mary Ellen Smoot)

"...No one else can do what you can do. Please do not compare yourself to others; rather bloom where you’re planted! "

 ( Janet Bradford)

"...Sometimes we question our promptings because of what I call the ‘smallness factor’.  We think that because the Lord wants us to do just a tiny thing that it is not important.  This is wrong..."

 (Janet Bradford) 

We each have our own specific purposes in this life. The Lord's work, ALL the Lord's work is important and of great worth to Him. It needs to be done. We are those that need to do it. No matter how big or small a task may feel it is still the Lord's work. I am grateful to know that as an individual, I am required to serve in my own way. 'No one else can do what I can do'  The Lord needs me over here while He needs you over there. It is all the same. It is His work. I hope to be better at 'blooming where I'm planted' so to speak. And use my talents and strengths to serve in my way. 

Treasures of Heaven

I had the opportunity to attend girls camp with my ward this past weekend. One evening we had a little fireside and a testimony meeting. Our theme for girls camp was "Seek ye the treasures of heaven." (Everything was pirate themed) Our guest speaker gave a great talk.

He started by showing us this painting that was very old and explained how this painting was a treasured family heirloom. He then asked someone to hold the painting for him up while he explained how this painting became apart of his family and the importance of it. And how he had inherited it after his mom died and he now is the coveted owner of the painting in his family. The person holding the painting (who happened to be my husband) slipped and accidentally dropped it in the fire. Shock. Everything went silent. Not knowing what to do someone finally attempted to grab it out of the fire. The look on the speaker's face was enough to make anyone want to cry with him and jump into the fire yourself to save such a thing. It was a horrible feeling. The speaker stepped aside with his painting, clutching it in his arms looking at the damage. It was all burned. It was damaged. Blackened from the flames. It seemed as if the world had just stopped moving and silence took over. Then he threw it back in the fire and explained that this painting was just a $2 painting that had no meaning to him. Oh my gosh. Seriously. Then he told one more story as we are all sitting there in shock.

He told a story of a fire fighter that arrived at a barn that had been burned beyond repair. As he entered the rubble he noticed a hen still alive surrounded by soot and ashes from the fire. This hen had all her babies clutched under her wings, still alive. The mother hen had saved her babies through the fire.

In the scriptures the Savior uses many parables to help teach us, one of these is he is compared to a hen and we are the chicks. 

Lessons Learned:

As we are trying to find the treasures of heaven, trying to live the gospel, we are becoming like the Savior. We are His treasures.  The hurt I felt for the speaker and the burnt painting was great, I can only imagine the pain he must have felt. Just as we are the Lord's treasures, I can only imagine the hurt and pain He feels as we make choices that in a sense is like throwing our spirits in the fire. Burned and torched. But it also brings me hope knowing that has the mother hen was able to protect her baby chicks from the fire. The Savior sacrificed, atoned for our sins, and died for us so that He might be able to at times protect us from the fire but also heal us when we are burned and torn. Seek ye the treasures of heaven. For we are the His treasures.  

"...The heavens, they are many, and they cannot be numbered unto man; BUT they are numbered unto me, for they are mine." (Moses 1:37)

We are of importance. We are treasures. We are His. His treasures. May we do all we can to strengthen our value. 

Convenient

It is interesting to me that as each day passes and I try to do my best with my life I find there are things easier to live then others when it comes to the gospel. For instance: I would never be tempted to try alcohol or smoke. But yet I seem to be too embarrassed to turn off/walk out of a movie if it isn't appropriate (in front of a crowd). Silly right. Living the gospel isn't just living the easy parts, but living all of it. Everybody has temptations, you might find someone that it is super easy to walk out of an inappropriate movie but battle everyday with the temptation to smoke or drink. It's okay to have temptations. That you can't control. You can control what you do with those temptations. 

Lesson Learned:

"Some men are willing to die for their faith, but they are not willing to fully live for it."

-Ezra Taft Benson

I don't matter, I am needed

I was reading my friend's blog and it caught me off guard. The post was titled "My mom doesn't tell me I'm pretty" you will find the whole post here. She asked her mother why she didn't ever tell her she was pretty or smart when she was growing up. And what her mother was trying to teach her because of it. And this was her mother's response:
"That you, in and of yourself, are not nearly as important as the good you do for other people.  You may have to use your brain and your looks to make it through life, but at the end of the day, it isn't what your face looks like, or if you graduated from college, it is what you sacrificed to help someone in need.  No beauty, no degree, no accomplishment will make me as proud as knowing that my children know how to love and serve those around them."


I have been having a really hard time with some emotions recently. I got my "feelings hurt" so to speak, and I really have been letting it get the better of me. I swore I wouldn't let that happen when the feelings got hurt, but seeing that I am no where near perfect I let it get the best of me. And in return it has been affecting my actions. I have been less willing to serve in certain situations.  So many things have happened this month that have been "eye openers" or as I would like to call them "tender mercies" for me.


Lesson Learned:
It doesn't matter who you are. It doesn't matter how pretty, smart, funny, dumb, ugly, and so forth, you are. It matters what you do with yourself. It matter who you serve. How often you serve. And why you serve. 
"Our lives are a gift from God. What we do with that life is our gift to Him."
I would like to share something a little bit more personal, which I normally wouldn 't do, but I feel strongly I should share it. I was recently given a Priesthood blessing because of an illness I had a couple weeks ago, in the blessing I was only expecting something on how I was sick but this statement was said: " Kimberlee, the Lord relies on you to help those around you."
I don't matter, I am needed. I am grateful to be needed. And I will try my best to do all that I can to fulfill that need. I hope to be quicker to forgive and not so easily offended in the future so that I can focus more on what work the Lord has for me to do. I hope to not let the less important things matter more then what really matters most. As the Mormon Ad would say:" It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice."

Butterfly

Sometimes I wonder why things have to be so hard at times. I feel guilty for feeling such ways when I know that each life experience is for our good.

Lesson Learned:
"The struggle to break out of the cocoon develops the butterfly so it can fly. Without that adversity, the butterfly would never have the strength to achieve its destiny. It would never develop the strength to become something extraordinary."
-Joseph B. Wirthlin

It isn't just for our good to have such hard times, it is vital for us to experience such things in order for us to become our full potential and live with Heavenly Father again. Without those experiences we could never have the strength to live the life we need to with Him. 

Fathers

I am grateful for all the Fathers in my life. I am grateful for my husband and the great father that he is. I am grateful to have the Priesthood in my home. It brings such wonderful blessings.

Lesson Learned:

"It will all be worth it."

 I went and saw "17 miracles". Holy tear fest. I really really really liked the movie. Several things went through my mind as I watched it. It was about the Martin/Willie Handcart Companies crossing the plains. And the many hardships and miracles along the way. (so good, go see it) One thing I will share is this statement said from one of the members of the company:
Lesson Learned:
"It will all be worth it."
-Sarah Anne Franks (Martin/Willie Handcart Company)

That statement can be taken several ways. I won't blow the movie but in her situation she had to make a very tough decision and chose to wait to get married to her love so she could be sealed to him when they reached Salt Lake. "It will all be worth it." she said to her love as he asked why they should wait and told her the possible scenario's of one of them not making it to Salt Lake. "It will all be worth it."

The gospel can be very hard to live at times. Not just following standards and commandments that are already set in place, but often times the Lord has a plan for us and asks us to follow that plan even though it may not be easy. As such with the pioneers commanded to cross the plains.

I recently had an experience where I was given a very strong spiritual prompting to do something. Something that I didn't want to do. Knowing the outcome would probably end in a lot of emotional pain, people with hurt feelings, and a lot of frustration. I could not deny the strong impression and decided to follow through with this prompting. In doing so, a lot of feelings were hurt, emotional pain, and a lot of frustration. I still do not understand why I needed to do what I did but I know I needed to do it. The only understanding I can hold on to is that the Lord wanted me to and somewhere down the road it will be best. It was hard. Extremely hard. But, I have peace knowing I followed the prompting, and even though it brought me much grief I know one day it will have hopefully mended what needs to be mended. In the back of my mind "It will all be worth it." keeps running through. I have faith in Christ and know that one day this one decision I made will be worth it.
Living the gospel will all be worth it.

Priorities

It's interesting how sometimes I find my self "stuck in a rut" (so to speak) and it sneaked up on me oh so subtly. Are there ever times in your life when suddenly you feel "stuck"? Suddenly you realize you are not progressing the way you should. Kinda like your watching the world move around you but your not moving with it. And then you start to wonder why your not content or at peace with your life. Funny how that happens (probably too often). 

I start to evaluate my life and my daily routines. Found the problem. Were my priorities in the right spot? no. Good intentions? yes. It's that cycle we live: 1.trial 2.humility 3.faith 4.lessons learned 5.life is good 6.pride 7.back to step "1"  I always vow to never get to step 6 but somewhere between step 5 and 6 I start to get comfortable with things and slowly but surely the little things start to slip there way in in front of God. Reminds me of the on going battle in the Book of Mormon, the people sin, they repent and come to Christ, life is good, and then with the abundance of blessings they receive they slip back into pride and do it all over again. 

I'm not just talking about the big things, but little things like (don't judge, don't worry I've changed my ways): Playing words with friends before reading my scriptures or watching that TV show instead of spending time with your family. Silly I know. But really. How many things in your life do you put before the few simple things God asks us to do. It's not that doing those things are bad, but are we letting them take to higher portion of the day or letting it even just affect our way of thinking. Is it helping us progress? Good, better, or best. I choose best. 

Lesson Learned:

"When we place God first in our lives, everything else falls into place or drops out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern: 

the claims for our affection, 

the demands on our time, 

the interests we pursue, 

the order of our priorities.

We should place God ahead of everything else in our lives."

-Ezra Taft Benson

It's when we put Him first that we become our "best" selfs. Our lives become His path. His path isn't always easy but it is worth it. It is best. Best for us. I know that when I focus on putting Him first everything else around me falls into place. That doesn't mean I'm without trials, hardships, or afflictions but it does mean I have the peace I need to overcome such times and I have a clearer perspective on my path to Him. So yes in a sense life becomes much smoother. I no longer feel "stuck".

Rainy Days

The past few weeks have been some tough ones for me. Between sick baby, car troubles, car accident, and other  such stresses (that seemed to keep piling on, a kick me while I'm down kinda stress) things have finally started looking up (knock on wood). I can't help but feel grateful for times like these past few weeks because they tend to teach me more then any other time of life. 
It seems as though it hasn't stopped raining for a good month. And as everyone sits here and complains, I'll be honest I have loved the rain. Yes I wish it were warmer, and yes the days sometimes seem a little dreary but there is something about rain that just makes me happy. My sister Sara wrote a blog post about the such dreary weather and I really liked it.  
Lessons Learned:
"Sometimes our lives are rainy, when we want and even expect them to be sunny.  There will even be times when it is rainy for days on end and it seems like the world will not stop dumping on us. If we let them, those times might stop us from remembering and appreciating the sunny days we do have. (And we have had some beautiful, sunny days this month) But, if we remember to count our blessings, I believe we can find a measure of gratitude for the rainy times, and enjoy the sunny times that much more. I also believe that we can have moments of peace and calm, even when the storm is raging around us.Finally, I believe that sometimes we need the rain, even if we think we don't want it or need it. Flowers need both the sun and the rain to help them grow and flourish, just as we need both blessings and trials to help us grow spiritually. Sometimes we need the rain.

I still wish we could see a little more of the sun right now, but I know it will come.
It always does."
-Sara Carruth


I'm grateful for the rainy days because sometimes I think it's Heavenly Father giving me a little reminder of all the good things in my life. Another tender mercy found for me. 

A great work

I am so very blessed to have the mom I have. She will always be apart of who I am. Certain things I do are because of her. Parts of my testimony have been established because of her. She is the most loving and generous woman out there. She has taught me more then I deserve. I am grateful for her and for her service to me in raising me. I am grateful for her testimony and the strength she shows through tough times. I am a better person because of her. She will always be my mom and for that I am eternally blessed.
I am also very blessed to have the mother-in-law that I have. She loves me unconditionally. She is always caring for me as if I am her own child. She would do anything for me.  She hasn't been in my life that long but the time she has she has taught me a great deal. I am grateful for her example and for raising such a valiant, hardworking, loving boy. I am eternally in debt to her for giving me such an honorable man. I know he is the man he is today because of her.
I am also very blessed today because I am a mom. It has been a day of full emotions for me. As I sit and think back on the past year watching my little boy grow it amazes me. I sit here today in awe. In awe that Heavenly Father would send such a sweet perfect little boy to not perfect little me. The trust He has. I am grateful for the great honor of being a mother, I am truly blessed. It is a great joy.
I couldn't help but feel not worthy of such a day as this, as I see several people around me struggling with the loss of a child, or not being able to bare a child. I do not fully understand the pain they must be feeling on this day. But to them I am grateful for the strength they carry. I am grateful for the examples of these women. For their courage to keep facing each day.
Thank you to all the great women in my life who have strengthened, lifted, taught, and raised me! I only hope I can pass on to my children and people in my life the great lessons I have learned from you.

Lesson Learned:
"The greatest work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home."
-Unknown

Happy

Lesson Learned:
"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections."
-Unknown

Learning

Please read this post, and then please read this post. I promise you will benefit from it. And then watch this video!

Lesson Learned:
I feel as though this is so so true. As a parent teaching my child and watching how he can't fully understand the benefit of the things I teach him he can and can't do and then when he gets frustrated because he doesn't understand I think to myself I wish you could just understand it is better in the long run. Just trust me. And then I look back on my past. The trials, struggles, pain, hardships, feeling defeated. How at the time of those specific experiences I could not understand. All I could see was what was right in front of me.  And the Lord was simply saying I wish you could understand it is better in the long run. Just trust me. I may not fully understand even to this day why I have experienced some of the things I have but I know for now that I have learned. I have learned at least a little. A little bit why the Lord gave me those experiences. Some more then others. Some experiences I know happened because they have been key points in my life to building a foundation for my testimony. Others have helped me help others as they experience similar things now. Others I have yet to understand the Lord's purposes for those times. But, when all is said and done I will learn. The more I learn, the more I can comprehend, and one day as I am on this path of learning and comprehending I can become perfected in Him and finally fully understand the Lord's will. For now I will be grateful for what I have learned now.

Hope

Lesson Learned:
"Hope is not knowledge, but rather the abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promise to us."
-Dieter F. Uchtdorf

My Redeemer

Lesson Learned:

I have a testimony of Jesus Christ. I know that He lives. He atoned for our sins and made the ultimate sacrifice so that we could one day be like Him. I know He loves me. He suffered so that I might find comfort in hard times, knowing that I am not alone. He payed the price for my sins so that I might be able to become perfect one day as Him. He is my Savior. My Redeemer. My strength. I owe Him more then I can pay. I will always be in debt to His astounding love. I am blessed. I am not worthy of such a Man but to Him I was worth it and I will always be grateful for His mercy. I say these things in His sacred name Jesus Christ, Amen. 

Happy Easter! May we always remember Him and live to honor Him. For He is our life. 

Tender Mercies

Yesterday for our mutual activity our Stake Young Women's president so graciously stepped in and planned the activity this week. It was fantastic. She had the Stake Patriarch come and talk to us a little bit more about patriarchal blessings. He started talking about tender mercies and how our lives are filled daily with them.  We watched some of Elder Bednar's talk on Tender Mercies he gave a few years back and it was such a great reminder. A reminder that the Lord is always giving us tender mercies.  He said as along as we are doing what is right to the best of our abilities and striving to do what we need to, to keep the spirit in our lives we receive those tender mercies. Tender mercies do not come randomly and they are not coincidental. They are of God. And happen for a reason.   

BUT as I was driving home today from hanging out at my mom's house I was listening to music on the radio and a song I like came on. Before I knew it I was deep in thought, completely calmed by the music, and entranced on the road (safely of course). It hit me, as we study, ponder, pray, and strive to more fully live the gospel we are inviting the spirit to stay. And as the spirit stays with us or as we are more in tune with the spirit, it is then we are able to more clearly see the tender mercies in our lives. They happen all around us. All the time. On purpose. It is up to us to be in tune with the spirit and recognize them when they come. 

I had a tender mercy (one that I noticed) today. It was as simple as driving home and listening to music. The Lord knows I love music and knows it is a thinking time for me when I listen to it. He then took that moment and turned it into a teaching moment (a tender mercy). Not only was it a teaching moment but it was a reminder that I have a good life. A great life. I have a sweet baby boy, a wonderful husband, and all the love and support I can get. I am truly blessed. And I'm grateful that for today, I realized that. I'm grateful to know that whatever my future holds I will always have that. I have the love of my sweet husband, my gracious little boy, my family, my friends, and most importantly the love of my Savior and Heavenly Father. What more could someone ask for.

Lessons Learned:

Be sure to push pause on my music below!

To be or not to be

Sometimes I wonder why I make the choices I do. I know what is right. I know what is wrong. I know I am a child of God and that He loves me and that He has given me everything. I am breathing because of Him. So if He has given me everything, if He has suffered the ultimate for me, then why? why do I still do things I ought not to do?! Or why do I think the way I do sometimes. Why am I so quick to judge, or get offended, or put someone down? And then after doing those things I wonder why I am not happy. 


Lesson learned:
"To be without God in the world--in other words, to refuse to live His gospel and therefore lack the companionship of the Spirit--is to be in a state contrary to the nature of happiness. The gospel of Jesus Christ is, in fact, the--note that this is singular, meaning it is the only--'great plan of happiness' (Alma 42:8). If you opt for any other way of life or try to live only the parts of the gospel that seem convenient, such a choice will cheat you of the full, resplendent joy and happiness for which you were designed by our loving Father in Heaven and His Son."
(Marcus B. Nash, "The Great Plan of Happiness," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 49)


The spirit cannot dwell with us at all times when we are partly living the gospel. Cause when we are partly doing things that the Lord has asked us not to, we are partly living two lives. And somewhere down the road we can't live both lives and we have to choose. It is simple. Make wrong choices and be not happy. Make good choices and be happy. I think everyone could agree with me they would much rather be happy right? He knows we are not perfect. But He also knows that we can become perfect. When I think of perfect I think of happiness. Purely happy. Joy. Perfectly happy. So why not choose to be happy.  As I make my day to day choices and decisions I will strive to remember why I'm here. I'm here to find happiness. I'm here to become perfect like Him. So why choose to be bitter, when He is forgiving. Why choose to judge, when we are just as imperfect. Why choose to put her down, when she is a daughter of God too, just as loved, just as important to Him as me. Once again, why not choose to be happy. Live to be happy.

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me...

Once again my life is being compared to a song. I really do love music. I think it is a very soothing and therapeutic way to express your feelings. There has been a wonderful peace in my home since last Tuesday. Brian and I have had to make some very big decisions this past while and I think I have gained gray hairs because of it. If you would like to read more about these decisions click here. Look for the post titled "Decisions!" (fitting I know).  Emotions have been very high. Finally, Brian text me (last Tuesday) and said we need to go to the Temple. And so we went to find some peace. The Lord answers prayers. Peace was indeed found. I am happy to say that Brian and I have done all we can to put ourselves in the path the Lord would have us be on. It is now in the Lord's hands. (I'ts a little more comforting then having it be in my hands)We find out what path that will be next week. (We will keep you posted)  The point of this post is to say once again the Lord answers prayers. When you've done all you can do, He will lead you along.


Lessons Learned:

I WON'T LET GO

"It's like a storm 

That cuts a path 

It breaks your will 

It feels like that 

You think you're lost

But you're not lost on your own, 

You're not alone 

I will stand by you,

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do

and you can't cope

I will dry your eyes,

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight 

and I won't let go

It hurts my heart to see you cry

I know its dark this part of life

Oh it finds us all and we're to small

to stop the rain

Oh but when it rains

I will stand by you,

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do

and you can't cope

I will dry your eyes,

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

and I won't let you fall

Don't be afraid to fall

I'm right here to catch you

I won't let you down

It won't get you down 

You're gonna make it

I know you can make it

Cause I will stand by you,

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do

and you can't cope

I will dry your eyes,

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

and I won't let go

Oh I'm gonna hold you

and I won't let go

Won't let you go

No I won't"

(Rascal Flatts)

Scroll down and listen to it if it isn't already playing!

His Child, His Love, His Life

I was reading my friend's blog today and I really appreciated what she had to say. To read the whole post click here. I recommend reading it :)  (The post isn't titled so scroll down for her "March 3, 2011" post)

She talked about being a child of God and feeling of the love He has for us. And that He loves all. I recently had an experience where I felt such love. Such overwhelming, almost felt unworthy of it love. It's hard to sometimes revert back to the simplicity of the gospel. The simplicity of being a Child of God. And yet there is so much more depth to that statement then we will ever know. But because we are a His children, we are loved by Him.

Lesson Learned:
"Then. Then I remembered a tangible concept taught in a recent Relief Society activity. The speaker discussed how the worth of a painting is based upon the price a buyer will pay for it. A mother may pay a huge sum of money for her child's finger painting, because it is her child. An art collector may pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for an original DaVinci, because to the art collector it is worth that money. The same goes for me, as an individual for whom the Atonement was completed. Because Heavenly Father paid the price of His only Begotten son for me, I am worth something to Him. Because I am His child, my finger painting is worth the price of His Son." 
(Jessica Brinkerhoff)

Youth

"I want to say to...the vast majority of the youth of the Church... around the world how extraordinarily proud we are of you. Moral and physical danger exists almost everywhere around you and temptations of a dozen kinds present themselves daily, yet most of you strive to do what is right...I wish to raise my voice in praise of you, to express 

my love, my encouragement, and my admiration for you."

-Jeffrey R. Holland

Lessons Learned:
1.I have great youth in my ward! I am so grateful for their examples to me and strength they have to conquer each challenge that faces them.
2.If the Youth can conquer their challenges, I can conquer mine.

Good things to come

Lesson Learned:

(be sure to push pause on my music playlist)

Sometimes I just need a reminder that there are always good things to come. "Some blessings come soom, some come late, and some don't come til heaven. But for those who embrace the Gospel of the Jesus Christ, they come."

-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Comfort

Lesson Learned:
"I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you."  (John 14:18)

Perspective

Lesson Learned:
"Everything in the world isn't worth what the Lord has in store for you!"
                                                                  -President Barker

Humility

Lesson Learned:
"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking less about yourself."
 -President Dieter F. Uchtdorf