When nothing seems to go right.

Lesson Learned:
"Sometimes things have to fall apart, so other things can fall into place."

Instrument in the Lords hands

Last Sunday I had the opportunity to give the "Fast Sunday" lesson in Young Womens. It was one of those times in my life where I knew that the Lord had put His trust in me and I became and instrument in His hands. My lesson was on Personal Revelation. (Which is our theme for the month) We talked a lot about the different ways the Holy Ghost can communicate to us. Whether its a "still small voice", "He enlightens our minds", "causes a burning in our bosom", "He gives peace", or "line upon line, precept upon precept".  As we discussed these I felt as though I should share a personal experience: 

"My mom had gone out of town. I was about 16. It was the day she was supposed to come home and I hadn't heard from her yet. So I tried calling her. The phone didn't even ring, it made this fuzzy beeping noise and then hung up. I tried several times to call her. The thing that scared me was that it didn't even go to her voice machine.  All these scenarios ran through my head that maybe she got in an accident and her phone was smashed. It started getting late and I was getting more and more scared. I felt sick inside. So I said a little prayer and I had this overwhelming feeling of peace run through my body. I had the feeling that everything would be alright. So I continued on with my night and quit worrying. Hours later, I still hadn't heard anything from my mom. I began to worry again. Only this time more then the first time I was worrying. I had forgotten the feelings of peace that the Lord so graciously gave me. I said another prayer asking the Lord to give me comfort and to keep my mom safe. After I finished I had this feeling to read my scriptures. So I opened them and I came upon this verse:

 (D&C 6:23)

"Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have then from God?"

Lessons Learned:

I then bore my testimony on the power of prayer and personal revelation. I know that it is real. I know that the Lord does speak to us individually through the Holy Ghost. When we are worthy of it.  I also know that just because you haven't received a lightening bolt answer about something doesn't mean the Lord didn't answer you and it also doesn't mean you don't have a testimony. 

Elder Dallin H. Oaks cautioned: “Some [people] have looked exclusively for the great manifestations that are recorded in the scriptures and have failed to recognize the still, small voice that is given to them. … We need to know that the Lord rarely speaks loudly. His messages almost always come in a whisper. …Not understanding these principles of revelation, some people postpone acknowledging their testimony until they have experienced a miraculous event. They fail to realize that with most people … gaining a testimony is not an event but a process.” 

There was a specific girl in my class that I know this lesson was for. She isn't a member but she comes faithfully every Sunday by herself. I could see the light in her eyes as she took in the spirit and tried so hard to understand what was being said. I know that seeds were planted at that moment. I am grateful that the spirit was there that day to teach for me because He is a far better teacher then I could ever be. 

Divine Calling

This past week my little boy has been doing so much. I feel like he grew up over night. He just hit 6 months and I feel like he is already 5 yrs. He is all over the place. It is so fun for me to watch him learn. As I was enjoying this week, watching him roll all over the place, eat rice cereal for the first time, drink out of a cup, etc... I suddenly felt like I hit a brick wall. My heart sunk. I had no idea why I felt such...RESPONSIBILITY. That's right. Responsibility.  Things have been so AWESOME.  I felt like I was on top of the world. Finally getting the hang of this "mom thing".  And then without warning WORRY for my little boy's future over powered me.  I couldn't sleep all night. I felt sick inside. I even felt scared. I no longer felt confident. Doubt and failure kept running through my mind. How do I raise my little boy? All of a sudden the basics seemed hard. Where do I even start? Good heavens. After hours of complete torture, I said a little prayer. Comfort, strength, knowledge, humility, patience. I am grateful for the Lord's work. I am grateful that He knows me and is always there to guide me. "Kim, you are capable. Not only capable but you are chosen for this. You have the great privilege and duty to be a mother in Zion." 

Lessons Learned:

"The Lord has directed, Bring up your children in light and truth. To me, there is no more important human effort. Being a father or a mother is not only a great challenge; it is a divine calling. It is an effort requiring consecration. President David O. McKay (1873-1970) stated that being parents is the greatest trust that has been given to human beings."
--President James E. Faust, A Thousand Threads of Love, Ensign, Oct. 2005, 3