Forgiveness

This is a very hard topic to talk about. I don't want to step on any toes. So please take kindly to my words, and understand that they are meant to heal not hurt. (Examples provided are not to say yours should or shouldn't turn out like that. They are just examples I have seen in my own life on forgiveness.) Thank you.

I recently read this post on a great blog about a couple who have both come from previous marriages and they talk about love, life, and infertility. It's a great blog to read. Anyways back to forgiveness. They read a book that said this:

"Forgiveness is the surrender of our victimhood--taking back the power of full personhood that was stripped from us by another or ourselves. Either we find our way to let go of the victimhood of unforgiveness or we don't. Either we stop thinking, planning, worrying about it and become free from it and delivered from it, or we don't. God won't do it for us. Until we forgive [and] set ourselves free, we are not forgiven [or]set free...
...The evidence of true forgiveness is the freedom to continue to act lovingly despite the hurts and tragedies we endure."
(David Brisbin-The Fifth Way)

Lesson learned:
I truly believe that forgiveness is the key to happiness. There is always reason to be offended, or hurt by others, including being so harsh on ourselves (thinking less of yourself because of choices you've made). We are not perfect. People are not perfect. The people we love and who love us are not perfect. EVERYONE makes mistakes, and unintentionally or intentionally we can hurt people in the process by making those mistakes.  I have had my fair share of hurt feelings and I'm sure my fair share of hurting others unintentionally.  Choices I have made have hurt others. Or myself. And choices other people have made have hurt me. It hurts. And in some cases seems unforgivable.

"I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men."
(Doctrine & Covenants 64:10)

 I have seen the act of being unable to forgive ruin lives. I have seen the act of being able to forgive change and renew lives. I have seen someone unable to forgive over forgetting to give back a movie and never speaking to one another again (they are sisters). I have seen someone forgive the drunk driver that killed their child and have been able to feel the sunshine on their face again without having any bitterness towards this person. I have seen forgiveness in a marriage where a husband has been unfaithful to his wife, they are happy and still married and very much in love. I have seen the act of not being able to forgive in a marriage with both partners making mistakes, that has ended in divorce, with much bitterness and hardships created for their children and others they know, now and i'm sure in years to come. I have seen unforgiveness in an ended marriage affect and hinder the new marriage this person has, not able to truly enjoy what they have because of bitterness with the past. I have seen a friend forgive themselves for mistakes they have made and have truly embraced their new life with hope and surety they are cleansed through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

I believe forgiveness to also be one of the hardest commandments of the Lord. It is such a raw emotion that I personally would rather not touch. But it has to be touched. It has to be dealt with. We need to forgive. We need to be forgiving.

I know through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can forgive. When we truly embrace His love and His teachings, we can forgive. I have felt it and I have seen it used in many lives. We can find happiness through forgiveness. No matter the situation, the Atonement can provide feelings of peace and come to a true understanding of forgiveness.  It does not always mean it will fix the problem, like stated above "freedom to continue to act lovingly despite the hurts and tragedies we endure." There is always room to forgive no matter the hurt. We can have peace. It takes work, but we can have it.

He Is Risen

Lesson Learned:

hope

Lesson Learned:
"There are those among you who, although young, have already suffered a full measure of grief and sorrow. My heart is filled with compassion and love for you. How dear you are to the Church. How beloved you are of your Heavenly Father. Though it may seem that you are alone, angels attend you. Though you may feel that no one can understand the depth of your despair, our Savior, Jesus Christ, understands. He suffered more than we can possibly imagine, and He did it for us; He did it for you. You are not alone."
(Dieter F. Uchtdorf)


I truly believe this with all my heart. 

Fearlessly

I recently got released from my calling as the Young Women Secretary in my ward.  They changed the whole program so now there are all new people.  In being released, I have the opportunity to attend Relief Society now. I felt a little strange today, cause I feel like I have always been in Young Women's, but all is well. We talked today about having courage today to live the gospel and to stand up for what you believe. And then to teach our children and create an environment in our home to help them find the courage to make tough choices. Phew.  People shared some experiences they had in standing up for what they believe in and having the courage to "stand tall" in our beliefs.  We also talked about how in doing so we find joy and hopefully help be a light in helping others find that same joy we have as we live the gospel and receive promised blessings from doing so from the Lord.
I had an interesting experience once when I was a teen.  I was on a plane flying home from a family trip. It was probably a 3 or 4 hour flight. My sister and I were sitting on a separate row away from the rest of our family.  A man sat down next to us on our row.  Not long after the plane took off we started making conversation with this man.  Come to find out he was a psychologist.  He was traveling home from a meeting he had with other psychologists. Why I bring this up? I will tell you.  He was telling us how most of his clients are teens just like my sister and I. (same age, etc..) Somehow the topic came up that our parents were divorced.  Naturally, he seemed intrigued.  We shared some hard times that have come because of our parents' choices.  Seeing we were flying to Utah, he asked if this was where we lived. (He had a layover in Utah) We told him yes, and the first thing that comes out of this mouth after that is are you one of those "Mormon" people?! Yep, yes we are! Shocked that we didn't have horns he told a story of how once his son ran into a Mormon.  That story is not important, so we will continue with mine. Things got kind of quiet for a bit.  And then as we were landing he spoke up again.  He said you guys seem very happy. Especially for having gone through what you have with your parents getting divorced.  He said that most of the his clients who deal with trials such as ours are usually sad, into drugs, drinking, or finding other ways to try and dull the pain of hardships. He asked why we seemed so happy. Not much time to talk left, we basically told him it was because of our faith.
I believe and have faith that although hard times come, we are never alone. The Lord will always be there with us, and can provide peace and comfort for us even in our darkest moments.  That my friends is why I remained happy through the struggles of my childhood, and didn't turn to other things that would lead down to a path of unhappiness and despair.
We got off the plane and he said maybe he would have to look into our church to see if he could find out how to help his clients find that happiness.
To this day I wish I would have handed him a card to help him find the missionaries, but I was too nervous. Too scared.  He was a really nice man, and yet I was still too terrified. I learned that day that it is important and vital to the Lord to "stand tall" now and help ALL of His children come to Him.  He needs us.  Every so often I pray that this man can find the church again and open his heart to it.  Hopefully our testimony of finding joy in hard times through the gospel will have planted a seed in him. Now is the time to stand.

Lesson Learned:
"Who's on the Lord's side? Who? Now is the time to show.We ask it fearlessly. Who's on the Lord's side who?..." (Hymn 260 "Who's on the Lords side?)
To read and hear the whole hymn click here.

Faith

I knew I wanted to write today. But I didn't know what about. As I sit here and ponder on what things have been on my mind lately the word faith keeps coming through. Faith. I am overwhelmed by the spirit I have felt today at church.  So many great things learned.
I have someone that I care much about investigating the church right now.  As questions arise in this person, I find myself wanting so bad to put inside them the feelings I have of the knowledge I have of the truthfulness of the gospel. I realize that this is something that will only happen when they can search themselves (line upon line), pray, and feel the Holy Ghost bare witness to them of the truth. When they feel that,  it is up to them to choose to have faith, and ultimately grow in the gospel and feel of the joy and blessings it brings. "Faith is dead without works."


Lesson Learned:

"I am not surprised that comparatively few people join the Church from among the large number on whom the missionaries call. There’s no faith. On the other hand, I am amazed that so many do. It is a marvelous and wonderful thing that thousands are touched by the miracle of the Holy Spirit, that they believe and accept and become members. They are baptized. Their lives are forever touched for good. Miracles occur. A seed of faith comes into their hearts. It enlarges as they learn. And they accept principle upon principle, until they have every one of the marvelous blessings that come to those who walk with faith in this, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
It is faith that is the converter. It is faith that is the teacher. Thus it has been from the beginning."

(Gordon B. Hinckley)

I look back to when I first (remember) started to gain and nourish my testimony of this gospel. It was only when I had faith that these things were true, that's when I felt for myself it indeed was.  It is a scary thing to believe in something unseen.  And yes, I may have never seen (in this earth life) Jesus Christ or Heavenly Father, BUT boy have I felt, through the power of the Holy Ghost, that they are there and indeed did all that is taught. And as I hold on to those feelings, I keep pushing through life in hopes to strengthen my faith in them and one day become perfected as the Lord would have it. 

Right now, as I wait with the unknown future at hand, people ask me if it bothers me that I don't know even when I am moving, or even where for that matter.  A year ago I would say yes. Now, I have to admit there is not a drop of fear in my heart for my future. (Maybe a bit of anxiousness, but not fear)  I have faith. Faith in the Lord that He has a plan for us and that we will be happy. No matter where, when, or what we are doing. No matter the hardships that come, the mountains to climb, or the rivers to cross. He knows all, He is there, and I have faith that I have a purpose in this life. And that purpose will come to pass, with much joy, in the guidance of my Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

Wise Men Still Seek Him

Lesson Learned:

May we all remember to seek Him and give His love to those around us. 

There is still my joy

Be sure to push pause on the music playing below.  I don't love the little slideshow but it was the only video I could find with this song that was somewhat watchable. 

Lesson Learned:

I fell in love with this song. It's been such a long two weeks for my family. One thing I have learned though is exactly what this song portrays.

"There is still my joy."

Through all of life's experiences, trials, hardships, and afflictions....It is comforting to know that the one thing I have through all of it is my joy.  I can still have joy.

(2 Nephi 10)
"23 Therefore, cheer up your hears and remember that ye are free to act for yourselves--to choose the way of everlasting death or the way of eternal life.
24...that it is only in and through the grace of God that ye are saved."

(2 Nephi 11)
"5....my soul delighteth in his grace, and in his justice, and power, and mercy in the great and eternal plan of deliverance from death.
7 For there be no Christ there be no God; and if there be no God we are not, for there could have been no creation. But there is a God, and he is Christ, and he cometh in the fulness of his own time."

Because of that child we celebrate this time of year,  we can still have joy. We are free to choose that joy.

Love

My sweet Aunt Leslie's words:
"I started this week in the wee morning hours of Saturday, November 26th pleading to the Lord to keep my sweet husband, Gary alive. We ended this week in the wee morning hours on Saturday, December 3rd praying for his release. Friday evening family gathered and we held a short family meeting where my Father shared some scriptures with us from the Savior's last hours. My elder brother then gave Gary a beautiful blessing for peace and release. Because of some delays caused by the necessary steps to be taken for Gary's wishes of being an organ donor, we waited for the call for the go ahead with removing respiration. We received that call around 1:00am. They removed respiration around 1:20am but he didn't pass until 6:48 am. It was painful to watch him struggling to hold on to life. But there was a sweet peace upon his passing. I can't even begin to imagine how Heavenly Father was able to watch his Son on the cross. What a beautiful message for me to turn to this same atonement for strength, comfort, and peace.
We have truly felt the prayers and love that have gone out in our behalf. It is only through these that I am still standing. Daniel and I returned home on Saturday evening. Carli & Bo have joined us for the coming week. I know many of you want to touch base but a few days without visitors will allow us to get our feet on the ground. We are just beginning funeral service arrangements but it looks likely to be held on Thursday, December 8th. I will check both email and text messages. We are so blessed. All is well."
Leslie Burt

Lesson Learned:


I have been amazed at what the love of a family can do.  It is no wonder the Lord's plan is centered on the family.  I have learned so much in the past few days, things that I will cherish forever and hold dear to my heart, things I probably should keep between me and the Lord. It has truly been a gift to see so close at hand the will of the Lord and His plan for His children.  He truly is a merciful God of all and His plan is perfect. My heart aches for Leslie and her dear children Chris & Giannina, Carli & Bo, Spencer (currently in England serving a mission for the Lord), and Daniel. They are an amazing family and have held strong together during this tragic time in their lives. I pray they each have the comfort and strength they need to withstand the heartache. 

“He died not for men, but for each man. If each man had been the only man made, He would have done no less.” 
― C.S. Lewis

Love is a powerful thing. The love of family. The love of friends. The love of our Heavenly Father. The love of the Savior. Love heals, binds, and gives hope.  His love is perfect and endless.  This love has been felt this past week in our family and we are extremely grateful. 

My uncle Ben posted a few pictures in tribute of a great man.  I don't know if everyone can look at them because it's his face book page but you can sure give it a try. Gary Burt- Fish on, my friend.

Repentance is like a pair of pants

When I was younger I came up with this analogy. I'm sure someone somewhere has come up with the same thing but as far as I know I haven't heard it yet. My husband thought I was crazy when I first told him about it. He gave me this look like here we go again,  Kim and her weird, random comparisons to life. Ha. In YW we have been talking about Repentance this month and it reminded me of my analogy.
Repentance is like a pair of pants:

1.    Recognize that your pants are dirty: Recognizing sin.

2.    Take the pants off: Stop sinning. Nobody wants to wear a dirty pair of pants.

3.    Put them in the washer: Going to the right source for help. Whether you need your bishop, parents, or just need to kneel down and talk to your Heavenly Father about it. Sometimes we stop the sin but don't take all the steps necessary for the forgiveness to take place. Just as sometimes our pants get thrown in a corner or stay in the laundry basket to be forgotten or not cleaned yet. We need to take them to the washer.

4.    Wash Cycle:  Represents the Atonement.  There are different types of cycles depending on the quality of the clothes. Just as we sin there are different severities and need to be taking care of in their specific needs.  When all is said and done the Atonement can make us clean once more. Some cycles are just more delicate then others. And some just take more time.

5.    Laundry detergent, bleach, and stain remover:  We can’t just expect a pair of pants to be put in the washer and become clean.  We have to put the effort into making them clean.  Just as you would put laundry detergent, bleach or stain removers in to ensure your pants will come out clean after the wash cycle, we as individuals need to make sure we are doing our part of the deal when we are asking for forgiveness. Reading our scriptures, daily prayer, attending church, fasting, and living the gospel to our best ability are steps we need to take in order to have the Atonement work in our lives. So we can become clean again.

6.    Dry Cycle: When the wash cycle is done it is important to dry your pants or they will become stiff, wrinkly, and uncomfortable to wear again.  Just as Heavenly Father forgives us it is also required of us to forgive ourselves.  When we are truly forgiven of our mistakes and when we truly forgive ourselves we have a sense of peace and comfort. We feel clean again. It is no longer a burden.  When your pants are dry from the dryer they are warm, wrinkle free, and soft once more. Ready to wear again.  

Lesson Learned:

The Atonement is meant to heal, it was never meant to be easy. It is meant to break us down and rid us of our stains. We are meant to feel “Godly Sorrow.” (Wash Cycle)

“God the Father is merciful and has infinite love for you despite your
faults. Only the voice of Satan will cause you to feel of no value. In
contrast, the Holy Ghost will cause you to feel 'godly sorrow' unto
repentance in a manner that fills you with hope of positive change."
(Anthony D. Perkins, "The Great and Wonderful Love," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 77)

Treasures of Heaven

I had the opportunity to attend girls camp with my ward this past weekend. One evening we had a little fireside and a testimony meeting. Our theme for girls camp was "Seek ye the treasures of heaven." (Everything was pirate themed) Our guest speaker gave a great talk.

He started by showing us this painting that was very old and explained how this painting was a treasured family heirloom. He then asked someone to hold the painting for him up while he explained how this painting became apart of his family and the importance of it. And how he had inherited it after his mom died and he now is the coveted owner of the painting in his family. The person holding the painting (who happened to be my husband) slipped and accidentally dropped it in the fire. Shock. Everything went silent. Not knowing what to do someone finally attempted to grab it out of the fire. The look on the speaker's face was enough to make anyone want to cry with him and jump into the fire yourself to save such a thing. It was a horrible feeling. The speaker stepped aside with his painting, clutching it in his arms looking at the damage. It was all burned. It was damaged. Blackened from the flames. It seemed as if the world had just stopped moving and silence took over. Then he threw it back in the fire and explained that this painting was just a $2 painting that had no meaning to him. Oh my gosh. Seriously. Then he told one more story as we are all sitting there in shock.

He told a story of a fire fighter that arrived at a barn that had been burned beyond repair. As he entered the rubble he noticed a hen still alive surrounded by soot and ashes from the fire. This hen had all her babies clutched under her wings, still alive. The mother hen had saved her babies through the fire.

In the scriptures the Savior uses many parables to help teach us, one of these is he is compared to a hen and we are the chicks. 

Lessons Learned:

As we are trying to find the treasures of heaven, trying to live the gospel, we are becoming like the Savior. We are His treasures.  The hurt I felt for the speaker and the burnt painting was great, I can only imagine the pain he must have felt. Just as we are the Lord's treasures, I can only imagine the hurt and pain He feels as we make choices that in a sense is like throwing our spirits in the fire. Burned and torched. But it also brings me hope knowing that has the mother hen was able to protect her baby chicks from the fire. The Savior sacrificed, atoned for our sins, and died for us so that He might be able to at times protect us from the fire but also heal us when we are burned and torn. Seek ye the treasures of heaven. For we are the His treasures.  

"...The heavens, they are many, and they cannot be numbered unto man; BUT they are numbered unto me, for they are mine." (Moses 1:37)

We are of importance. We are treasures. We are His. His treasures. May we do all we can to strengthen our value. 

My Redeemer

Lesson Learned:

I have a testimony of Jesus Christ. I know that He lives. He atoned for our sins and made the ultimate sacrifice so that we could one day be like Him. I know He loves me. He suffered so that I might find comfort in hard times, knowing that I am not alone. He payed the price for my sins so that I might be able to become perfect one day as Him. He is my Savior. My Redeemer. My strength. I owe Him more then I can pay. I will always be in debt to His astounding love. I am blessed. I am not worthy of such a Man but to Him I was worth it and I will always be grateful for His mercy. I say these things in His sacred name Jesus Christ, Amen. 

Happy Easter! May we always remember Him and live to honor Him. For He is our life. 

Lead me, guide me, walk beside me...

Once again my life is being compared to a song. I really do love music. I think it is a very soothing and therapeutic way to express your feelings. There has been a wonderful peace in my home since last Tuesday. Brian and I have had to make some very big decisions this past while and I think I have gained gray hairs because of it. If you would like to read more about these decisions click here. Look for the post titled "Decisions!" (fitting I know).  Emotions have been very high. Finally, Brian text me (last Tuesday) and said we need to go to the Temple. And so we went to find some peace. The Lord answers prayers. Peace was indeed found. I am happy to say that Brian and I have done all we can to put ourselves in the path the Lord would have us be on. It is now in the Lord's hands. (I'ts a little more comforting then having it be in my hands)We find out what path that will be next week. (We will keep you posted)  The point of this post is to say once again the Lord answers prayers. When you've done all you can do, He will lead you along.


Lessons Learned:

I WON'T LET GO

"It's like a storm 

That cuts a path 

It breaks your will 

It feels like that 

You think you're lost

But you're not lost on your own, 

You're not alone 

I will stand by you,

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do

and you can't cope

I will dry your eyes,

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight 

and I won't let go

It hurts my heart to see you cry

I know its dark this part of life

Oh it finds us all and we're to small

to stop the rain

Oh but when it rains

I will stand by you,

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do

and you can't cope

I will dry your eyes,

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

and I won't let you fall

Don't be afraid to fall

I'm right here to catch you

I won't let you down

It won't get you down 

You're gonna make it

I know you can make it

Cause I will stand by you,

I will help you through

When you've done all you can do

and you can't cope

I will dry your eyes,

I will fight your fight

I will hold you tight

and I won't let go

Oh I'm gonna hold you

and I won't let go

Won't let you go

No I won't"

(Rascal Flatts)

Scroll down and listen to it if it isn't already playing!

You are loved, Don't give up

Recently I have come across some people in my life who are struggling. Some struggling financially, some physically, some emotionally, and some spiritually.  I have seen so much negativity, and yet so much optimism. Some stronger then others. To those struggling, not only the people that I know but to all. I'm sorry. Everyone in their life at some point has hardships.  The past couple weeks there has seemed to be so many people struggling I found myself overwhelmed. Trying to think of how I could help each individual and yet I know there isn't much I can do. Brian was doing something with the speakers for the TV the other day and suddenly they started playing REALLY loudly. But that wasn't want caught my attention, it was the song that was playing. To those struggling, to those who have struggled, and to those who will struggle in the future. Hardships and afflictions are for our benefit. The Lord gives them to us to strengthen us. I know that to be true.

Lesson Learned:

"You are loved (Don't give up)"

Don't give up

It's just the weight of the world

When your heart's heavy

I...I will lift it for you

Don't give up

Because you want to be heard

If silence keeps you

I...I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood

Well I can hear you

Everybody wants to be loved

Don't give up

Because you are loved

Don't give up

It's just the hurt that you hide

When you're lost inside

I...I will be there to find you

Don't give up

Because you want to burn bright

If darkness blinds you

I...I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood

Well I can hear you

Everybody wants to be loved

Don't give up

Because you are loved

You are loved

Don't give up

It's just the weight of the world

Don't give up

Every one needs to be heard

You are loved 

(Josh Groban)

What a blessing music is. I put the song on my playlist so you can scroll down to the bottom and click on it to listen to it if it isn't already playing. It doesn't matter the struggle your facing. Don't give up, because you are loved. Remember Christ and the Atonement. He knows all. He knows the challenges you face. He has faced them. So whether your struggle is causing you to lose hope and faith or whether your struggle has leaded you down the path of feeling guilty and not worthy of forgiveness, know that you are loved. He is there. He will always be there. You are always worthy of His love. YOU ARE LOVED.  So don't give up. 

Pride.

Wow. Thanksgiving came and went. And I'm hoping so did my pride. Some things happened this week that Brian and I definitely learned from. We found ourselves being covetous. Silly, when we are so blessed. We have everything and more then we possibly need. We have been extremely blessed. And of course the time of year when we should be most thankful for what we have we fail to give thanks. After we finally realized how prideful we were being we had a little talk and decided to change things. We changed our mind set. We suddenly realized everything we have is from the Lord. We have been so blessed. I keep repeating that but really we are.  The rest of the weekend we spent trying to focus on being more grateful and not so much on what we don't have or what we don't get to do. We tried to put our focus more on giving. Pride is such a nasty cycle. And no matter how much we try to avoid it, it always seems to slip back in to the picture and then we have to push it back out before some real damage has been done. The Lord has given us everything we have. He has provided us with this life. All the things we do, opportunities we get come from Him. How silly it is for us to forget that. Forget that you would not even be reading this if it weren't for His blessings He has provided. This time of year there seem to be two types of people. The type that get so carried away in the worldliness of Christmas and then the type that seem to do nothing but give more and more without once ever thinking of themselves. The ones who don't even get a Christmas. What would the world be like without all the Christmas hype. All the presents. All the craziness. All the Pride. We would be simply celebrating the birth of Christ.  What joy. After all, His birth was the start of such greatness. The start of the life of a man who provided the world for us. Provided peace. Provided the atonement. A way out. Such love and mercy from this Man. Eternal life. Hope. What more can we do for this Man then to show our appreciation. Celebrate Him. Do as He has done. Give. Sacrifice. Love unconditionally.
Lesson Learned:

(Alma 26: 35-37)

"Now have we not reason to rejoice? Yea, I say unto you, there never were men that had so great reason to rejoice as we, since the world began; yea, and my joy is carried away, even unto boasting in my God; for he has all power, all wisdom, and all understanding; he comprehendeth all things, and he is a merciful Being, even unto salvation, to those who will repent and believe on his name. 

Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my savlation, and my redemption from everlasting wo....

Now my brethen, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen."

I would hope that this time of year that we can all take the time and effort to sacrifice a bit more for others. Give thanks a bit more. Do something a bit more then you have in the past. Make it a more joyful time of year for people. Give a bit more. Remember Him. Give as He does. Love as He does. 

I'll Stand By You

*Sorry It's a long one*
I remember when I was a senior in high school and it was that time of year where everyone was applying to colleges and pretty much making the choices that would affect the rest of their future. I knew I wanted to go to beauty school...but that was about it. I started to realize, as I was deciding where to go, that I would probably be alone. All my friends were applying to places where they could room together. It seemed I was the only one staying home to go to school. I thought seriously about going to a beauty school where ever my friends went so I could at least room with them.  I prayed and prayed, asking where I should go. When I got my answer I wasn't pleased. I needed to stay here and go to the community college for beauty school. I remember crying for days. Sounds dramatic, but really I was so sad.  I was so caught up in the fact that I wasn't going to be with my friends, I didn't take the time to think that maybe the Lord has a different plan for me that is better. I wanted the same plan as my friends. I even remember the first night they all moved away. My best friend called me and all I could hear was people in the background talking and laughing. My heart just sunk. Not only was I feeling alone because my friends had moved away, but I had also been struggling for a while with some choices I had to make and ended up breaking up with my boyfriend of 2 years at the time. Life couldn't have been more lonely. I asked my dad and bishop for priesthood blessings. So many blessings, comforts, promises. I heard it but I didn't seem to believe that all would be well. That I would make new friends. That I would be a mother and wife in Zion someday. That I would be ok. The Lord had a different plan for me. And with much humbling I was able to realize that that plan was far better then the plan I wanted. Sometimes it's easy to forget that the Lord really does know best. He can see the bigger picture. We can't. So why not put all trust in Him. Pride. Failure. Fear. If only we could always remember and have full faith in Him we wouldn't have pride, fear of failure, fear of stepping into the unknown. I ended up getting a scholarship which paid for my entire schooling. Blessing. I made new friends and to this day are some of the people I cherish most. Blessing. I went on my first date with my husband now,  after a week into school. Married that Spring. Blessing. I was able to find a job without any complications to get me through college, that I had for two years. Blessing. We we're able to buy a home after a year of being married. Blessing. I have had the opportunity to serve in many callings in my wards. Blessing. I have a sweet baby boy. Blessing. We have been given a grant that pays for the amount I would have made if I work so I can be home with my baby boy. HUGE blessing. (Coincidence, I think not.) I have been blessed beyond measure. I never dreamed that when I was given the answer that I needed to stay home and go to school that it was really because I needed to get married and start a family. The Lord has a plan for each of us. And He doesn't promise that we can see the out come. But He does promise that He will stand by us. All times. As long as we put our faith in Him.

 "Oh why you look so sad
The tears are in your eyes

Come on and come to me now

Don’t be ashamed to cry

Let me see you through

Cause I’ve seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you

You don't know what to do

Nothing you confess

Could make me love you less

I’ll stand by you

I’ll stand by you

Won’t let nobody hurt you

I’ll stand by you

So if you're mad get mad

Don’t hold it all inside

Come on and talk to me now

Hey, what you got to hide

I get angry too

Well I’m a lot like you

When you're standing at the crossroads 

And don't know which path to choose

Let me come along

Cause even if you're wrong

I’ll stand by you

I’ll stand by you

Won’t let nobody hurt you

I’ll stand by you

Take me in into you darkest hour

And I’ll never desert you

I’ll stand by you

And when, when the night falls on you, baby

You feeling all alone

You won't be on your own

I’ll stand by you

I’ll stand by you

Won’t let nobody hurt you

I’ll stand by you

Take me in into you darkest hour

And I’ll never desert you

I’ll stand by you

Oh I’ll stand by you

I’ll stand by you"

(The Pretenders)

Lesson Learned:

"Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will  not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in His strength I can do all things..." (Alma 26:12)

His Infinite Love

Lesson Learned:

To Make You Feel My Love

"When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong I'd go hungry, I'd go blind for you I'd go crawling down the aisle for you
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on a rolling sea
Down the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you ain't seen nothing like me yet
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love"

Thought of the day.

"May it be a light for you in dark places, when all other lights go out..." - Galadriel Lord of the Rings

Lessons Learned:

it= Jesus Christ/The Atonement

light=hope/comfort

dark places= trials/afflictions/sin

The Lord won't give us anything that we can't handle. But when we are given hard moments remember to always rely on him and he will help push you forward.  It's in the moments of stepping into the darkness without hope or light that He provides the light for you. 

"I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it." 

Peace

"Life often feels like a great pile of obligations, frustrations, and disappointments. But the Lord is there, always the same, His arms still outstretched. When we feel overwhelmed, we have to remember the peace He has spoken to us on previous occasions. His peace brings comfort and strength; the world cannot give that to us."
(Kathleen H. Hughes, "Remembering the Lord's Love," Ensign, Nov. 2006, 111-12)

Lesson Learned:

"Peace is not the absence of conflict.  It is the presence of God whatever the conflict."