Forgiveness

This is a very hard topic to talk about. I don't want to step on any toes. So please take kindly to my words, and understand that they are meant to heal not hurt. (Examples provided are not to say yours should or shouldn't turn out like that. They are just examples I have seen in my own life on forgiveness.) Thank you.

I recently read this post on a great blog about a couple who have both come from previous marriages and they talk about love, life, and infertility. It's a great blog to read. Anyways back to forgiveness. They read a book that said this:

"Forgiveness is the surrender of our victimhood--taking back the power of full personhood that was stripped from us by another or ourselves. Either we find our way to let go of the victimhood of unforgiveness or we don't. Either we stop thinking, planning, worrying about it and become free from it and delivered from it, or we don't. God won't do it for us. Until we forgive [and] set ourselves free, we are not forgiven [or]set free...
...The evidence of true forgiveness is the freedom to continue to act lovingly despite the hurts and tragedies we endure."
(David Brisbin-The Fifth Way)

Lesson learned:
I truly believe that forgiveness is the key to happiness. There is always reason to be offended, or hurt by others, including being so harsh on ourselves (thinking less of yourself because of choices you've made). We are not perfect. People are not perfect. The people we love and who love us are not perfect. EVERYONE makes mistakes, and unintentionally or intentionally we can hurt people in the process by making those mistakes.  I have had my fair share of hurt feelings and I'm sure my fair share of hurting others unintentionally.  Choices I have made have hurt others. Or myself. And choices other people have made have hurt me. It hurts. And in some cases seems unforgivable.

"I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men."
(Doctrine & Covenants 64:10)

 I have seen the act of being unable to forgive ruin lives. I have seen the act of being able to forgive change and renew lives. I have seen someone unable to forgive over forgetting to give back a movie and never speaking to one another again (they are sisters). I have seen someone forgive the drunk driver that killed their child and have been able to feel the sunshine on their face again without having any bitterness towards this person. I have seen forgiveness in a marriage where a husband has been unfaithful to his wife, they are happy and still married and very much in love. I have seen the act of not being able to forgive in a marriage with both partners making mistakes, that has ended in divorce, with much bitterness and hardships created for their children and others they know, now and i'm sure in years to come. I have seen unforgiveness in an ended marriage affect and hinder the new marriage this person has, not able to truly enjoy what they have because of bitterness with the past. I have seen a friend forgive themselves for mistakes they have made and have truly embraced their new life with hope and surety they are cleansed through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

I believe forgiveness to also be one of the hardest commandments of the Lord. It is such a raw emotion that I personally would rather not touch. But it has to be touched. It has to be dealt with. We need to forgive. We need to be forgiving.

I know through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can forgive. When we truly embrace His love and His teachings, we can forgive. I have felt it and I have seen it used in many lives. We can find happiness through forgiveness. No matter the situation, the Atonement can provide feelings of peace and come to a true understanding of forgiveness.  It does not always mean it will fix the problem, like stated above "freedom to continue to act lovingly despite the hurts and tragedies we endure." There is always room to forgive no matter the hurt. We can have peace. It takes work, but we can have it.