In a pickle.

Last year my mother's husband, Michael, went to visit his grandmother.  She was 101 years old. . . And up until the year before that she had been living on her own, still fully capable of taking care of herself.  Michael asked her how she was doing and could see she seemed a little frustrated.  She replied:

"Michael, I'm in a bit of a pickle."  

The next day she peacefully passed away and made her way back to Heavenly Father.

When I heard that story, I was surprised at how I felt.  I so admired her strength, her eternal perspective on life, but also that the thing we call death was a little bit frustrating for her.  She loved her family here and her life here and yet has so much on the other side to look forward to as well.  I can only imagine being so close to death and feeling the way she felt.  "In a bit of a pickle."

So with that said, I am in a bit of a pickle. No I'm not on my death bed, at least I think and hope not.  This is truly a silly thing but I am need of some advice, so to speak.  For quite some time now I have been struggling with the idea of having two blogs. One for my life and the other for my spiritual thoughts.  I started blogging to mainly keep a journal of my life. An easier way to scrapbook.  I started compiling my "lessons learned" on spiritual experiences and decided to start a different blog on that.  Hence, my thought blog was created.  At first I did this because I felt most people would not like to read into the depths of my soul and quite frankly would get bored and detract from wanting to be updated on our life.

When I got my tonsils out I started sharing a little more on the spiritual side of things on my other blog.  I received positive feedback. The more and more I have pondered on such a silly thing, I have decided to put on hold my Lessons Learned blog.  BUT I have not put on hold my lessons learned! I feel it important to combine the two, for more then one reason.  My main reason is because when all is said and done, I don't have two different lives, and with the two blogs it seems as such. This is my life.  Spiritual and life. They are one in my eyes and I no longer feel it necessary to separate the two. I have already started posting half spiritual things and half life adventure things.    

 Are you all gonna be sad if there isn't a Lessons Learned blog anymore?!  And combining it all on my Simply Happy blog?! (I guess it's happening anyway. . .feedback will help determine if it's permanent or not!) 

 Thank you friends and family!

seek for the positive

Lesson Learned:
"I come to you tonight with a plea that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I am suggesting that as we go through life we try to 'accentuate the positive.' I am asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm, that we more generously compliment virtue and effort. Now I am not asking that all criticism be silenced. Growth comes of correction. Strength comes of repentance. Wise is the man or woman who can acknowledge mistakes pointed out by others and change his or her course." What I am suggesting is that you turn from the negativism that so permeates our modern society and look for the remarkable good among those with whom you associate, that we speak of one another's virtues more than we speak of one another's faults, that optimism replace pessimism, that our faith exceed our fears. When I was a young man and was prone to speak critically, my wise father would say: 'Cynics do not contribute. Skeptics do not create. Doubters do not achieve.' "


(Gordon B. Hinckley,"Be Not Afraid. Only Believe." )

Love her mother

Lesson Learned:

Happy Mother's Day this weekend! 

Charity

Lesson Learned:

"True Charity is love in action."

Forgiveness

This is a very hard topic to talk about. I don't want to step on any toes. So please take kindly to my words, and understand that they are meant to heal not hurt. (Examples provided are not to say yours should or shouldn't turn out like that. They are just examples I have seen in my own life on forgiveness.) Thank you.

I recently read this post on a great blog about a couple who have both come from previous marriages and they talk about love, life, and infertility. It's a great blog to read. Anyways back to forgiveness. They read a book that said this:

"Forgiveness is the surrender of our victimhood--taking back the power of full personhood that was stripped from us by another or ourselves. Either we find our way to let go of the victimhood of unforgiveness or we don't. Either we stop thinking, planning, worrying about it and become free from it and delivered from it, or we don't. God won't do it for us. Until we forgive [and] set ourselves free, we are not forgiven [or]set free...
...The evidence of true forgiveness is the freedom to continue to act lovingly despite the hurts and tragedies we endure."
(David Brisbin-The Fifth Way)

Lesson learned:
I truly believe that forgiveness is the key to happiness. There is always reason to be offended, or hurt by others, including being so harsh on ourselves (thinking less of yourself because of choices you've made). We are not perfect. People are not perfect. The people we love and who love us are not perfect. EVERYONE makes mistakes, and unintentionally or intentionally we can hurt people in the process by making those mistakes.  I have had my fair share of hurt feelings and I'm sure my fair share of hurting others unintentionally.  Choices I have made have hurt others. Or myself. And choices other people have made have hurt me. It hurts. And in some cases seems unforgivable.

"I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men."
(Doctrine & Covenants 64:10)

 I have seen the act of being unable to forgive ruin lives. I have seen the act of being able to forgive change and renew lives. I have seen someone unable to forgive over forgetting to give back a movie and never speaking to one another again (they are sisters). I have seen someone forgive the drunk driver that killed their child and have been able to feel the sunshine on their face again without having any bitterness towards this person. I have seen forgiveness in a marriage where a husband has been unfaithful to his wife, they are happy and still married and very much in love. I have seen the act of not being able to forgive in a marriage with both partners making mistakes, that has ended in divorce, with much bitterness and hardships created for their children and others they know, now and i'm sure in years to come. I have seen unforgiveness in an ended marriage affect and hinder the new marriage this person has, not able to truly enjoy what they have because of bitterness with the past. I have seen a friend forgive themselves for mistakes they have made and have truly embraced their new life with hope and surety they are cleansed through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

I believe forgiveness to also be one of the hardest commandments of the Lord. It is such a raw emotion that I personally would rather not touch. But it has to be touched. It has to be dealt with. We need to forgive. We need to be forgiving.

I know through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we can forgive. When we truly embrace His love and His teachings, we can forgive. I have felt it and I have seen it used in many lives. We can find happiness through forgiveness. No matter the situation, the Atonement can provide feelings of peace and come to a true understanding of forgiveness.  It does not always mean it will fix the problem, like stated above "freedom to continue to act lovingly despite the hurts and tragedies we endure." There is always room to forgive no matter the hurt. We can have peace. It takes work, but we can have it.

He Is Risen

Lesson Learned:

Potential.

Lesson Learned:
"When in situations of stress we wonder if there is any more in us to give, we can be comforted to know that God, who knows our capacity perfectly, placed us here to succeed."
(Neal A. Maxwell)

"You were given this life because you were strong enough to live it."
(unknown)

Prayer

Lesson Learned:
"Learning the language of prayer is a joyous, lifetime experience. Sometimes ideas flood our mind as we listen after our prayers. Sometimes feelings press upon us. A spirit of calmness assures us that all will be well. But always, if we have been honest and earnest, we will experience a good feeling—a feeling of warmth for our Father in Heaven and a sense of his love for us. It has sorrowed me that some of us have not learned the meaning of that calm, spiritual warmth, for it is a witness to us that our prayers have been heard. And since our Father in Heaven loves us with more love than we have even for ourselves, it means that we can trust in his goodness, we can trust in him; it means that if we continue praying and living as we should, our Father’s hand will guide and bless us."

hope

Lesson Learned:
"There are those among you who, although young, have already suffered a full measure of grief and sorrow. My heart is filled with compassion and love for you. How dear you are to the Church. How beloved you are of your Heavenly Father. Though it may seem that you are alone, angels attend you. Though you may feel that no one can understand the depth of your despair, our Savior, Jesus Christ, understands. He suffered more than we can possibly imagine, and He did it for us; He did it for you. You are not alone."
(Dieter F. Uchtdorf)


I truly believe this with all my heart. 

Fearlessly

I recently got released from my calling as the Young Women Secretary in my ward.  They changed the whole program so now there are all new people.  In being released, I have the opportunity to attend Relief Society now. I felt a little strange today, cause I feel like I have always been in Young Women's, but all is well. We talked today about having courage today to live the gospel and to stand up for what you believe. And then to teach our children and create an environment in our home to help them find the courage to make tough choices. Phew.  People shared some experiences they had in standing up for what they believe in and having the courage to "stand tall" in our beliefs.  We also talked about how in doing so we find joy and hopefully help be a light in helping others find that same joy we have as we live the gospel and receive promised blessings from doing so from the Lord.
I had an interesting experience once when I was a teen.  I was on a plane flying home from a family trip. It was probably a 3 or 4 hour flight. My sister and I were sitting on a separate row away from the rest of our family.  A man sat down next to us on our row.  Not long after the plane took off we started making conversation with this man.  Come to find out he was a psychologist.  He was traveling home from a meeting he had with other psychologists. Why I bring this up? I will tell you.  He was telling us how most of his clients are teens just like my sister and I. (same age, etc..) Somehow the topic came up that our parents were divorced.  Naturally, he seemed intrigued.  We shared some hard times that have come because of our parents' choices.  Seeing we were flying to Utah, he asked if this was where we lived. (He had a layover in Utah) We told him yes, and the first thing that comes out of this mouth after that is are you one of those "Mormon" people?! Yep, yes we are! Shocked that we didn't have horns he told a story of how once his son ran into a Mormon.  That story is not important, so we will continue with mine. Things got kind of quiet for a bit.  And then as we were landing he spoke up again.  He said you guys seem very happy. Especially for having gone through what you have with your parents getting divorced.  He said that most of the his clients who deal with trials such as ours are usually sad, into drugs, drinking, or finding other ways to try and dull the pain of hardships. He asked why we seemed so happy. Not much time to talk left, we basically told him it was because of our faith.
I believe and have faith that although hard times come, we are never alone. The Lord will always be there with us, and can provide peace and comfort for us even in our darkest moments.  That my friends is why I remained happy through the struggles of my childhood, and didn't turn to other things that would lead down to a path of unhappiness and despair.
We got off the plane and he said maybe he would have to look into our church to see if he could find out how to help his clients find that happiness.
To this day I wish I would have handed him a card to help him find the missionaries, but I was too nervous. Too scared.  He was a really nice man, and yet I was still too terrified. I learned that day that it is important and vital to the Lord to "stand tall" now and help ALL of His children come to Him.  He needs us.  Every so often I pray that this man can find the church again and open his heart to it.  Hopefully our testimony of finding joy in hard times through the gospel will have planted a seed in him. Now is the time to stand.

Lesson Learned:
"Who's on the Lord's side? Who? Now is the time to show.We ask it fearlessly. Who's on the Lord's side who?..." (Hymn 260 "Who's on the Lords side?)
To read and hear the whole hymn click here.

Arise

Lesson Learned:
"By the way you live the gospel, you reflect [the Savior's] light. Your example will have a powerful effect for good on the earth. 'Arise and shine forth, that thy light may be a standard for the nations' (D&C 115:5) is a call to each of you. It is a call to move to higher ground. It is a call to leadership—to lead out in decency, purity, modesty, and holiness. It is a call to share this light with others. It is time to 'arise and shine forth.' "
-Elaine S. Dalton

Faith

I knew I wanted to write today. But I didn't know what about. As I sit here and ponder on what things have been on my mind lately the word faith keeps coming through. Faith. I am overwhelmed by the spirit I have felt today at church.  So many great things learned.
I have someone that I care much about investigating the church right now.  As questions arise in this person, I find myself wanting so bad to put inside them the feelings I have of the knowledge I have of the truthfulness of the gospel. I realize that this is something that will only happen when they can search themselves (line upon line), pray, and feel the Holy Ghost bare witness to them of the truth. When they feel that,  it is up to them to choose to have faith, and ultimately grow in the gospel and feel of the joy and blessings it brings. "Faith is dead without works."


Lesson Learned:

"I am not surprised that comparatively few people join the Church from among the large number on whom the missionaries call. There’s no faith. On the other hand, I am amazed that so many do. It is a marvelous and wonderful thing that thousands are touched by the miracle of the Holy Spirit, that they believe and accept and become members. They are baptized. Their lives are forever touched for good. Miracles occur. A seed of faith comes into their hearts. It enlarges as they learn. And they accept principle upon principle, until they have every one of the marvelous blessings that come to those who walk with faith in this, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
It is faith that is the converter. It is faith that is the teacher. Thus it has been from the beginning."

(Gordon B. Hinckley)

I look back to when I first (remember) started to gain and nourish my testimony of this gospel. It was only when I had faith that these things were true, that's when I felt for myself it indeed was.  It is a scary thing to believe in something unseen.  And yes, I may have never seen (in this earth life) Jesus Christ or Heavenly Father, BUT boy have I felt, through the power of the Holy Ghost, that they are there and indeed did all that is taught. And as I hold on to those feelings, I keep pushing through life in hopes to strengthen my faith in them and one day become perfected as the Lord would have it. 

Right now, as I wait with the unknown future at hand, people ask me if it bothers me that I don't know even when I am moving, or even where for that matter.  A year ago I would say yes. Now, I have to admit there is not a drop of fear in my heart for my future. (Maybe a bit of anxiousness, but not fear)  I have faith. Faith in the Lord that He has a plan for us and that we will be happy. No matter where, when, or what we are doing. No matter the hardships that come, the mountains to climb, or the rivers to cross. He knows all, He is there, and I have faith that I have a purpose in this life. And that purpose will come to pass, with much joy, in the guidance of my Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

Faithful Obedience

Lesson Learned:
"At time we may rationalize that the Lord will understand our disobedience because our special circumstances make adherence to His laws difficult, embarrassing, or even painful.  However, faithful obedience, regardless of the apparent size of the task, will bring the Lord's guidance, assistance, and peace."
-Bruce A. Carlson

I have experienced this in my own life.  Times when I chose to rationalize my choices and times when I chose to be obedient to the Lord's will.  I remember clearly an experience that caused much embarrassment and was most certainly difficult to keep to my standards the Lord has provided for us. I was a teenager and it was a typical Friday night hanging out with friends.  We chose a certain movie to watch.  I had wanted to see this movie for a while and was very excited.  Just as the movie was starting I remembered that my mom had said this movie was inappropriate and I probably shouldn't watch it, but being a teenager I didn't believe her.  Not even ten minutes into the movie it had become so inappropriate I found myself very uncomfortable and my heart was pounding.  I was so embarrassed, I really wanted to see this movie, and everyone else seemed to be enthralled in it.  I felt I was the only one feeling uncomfortable.  It took everything I had to stand up and "go to the bathroom".  I knew I didn't want to go back in that room til the movie was over or turned off but I had no where else to go because I didn't know this friend's house very well and I was all alone.

Difficult and Embarrassing.

Several times I thought to myself: Do I go back and just not pay attention? Do I play a game on my phone? Do I call my mom to go home (embarrassing as a 14 year old)? Do I sit here, awkwardly in this house til the movie is over?

Here's where the "Lord's guidance, assistance, and peace" come into play.  Once I had decided to not go back in the room, I found a nice back room where hopefully no one else in the house would cross paths with me and I sat there.  It seemed like eternity. (probably 5 minutes)  I heard footsteps and around the corner pops my friend.  She looks at me with this worried look on her face and asked what I was doing.  Ha. I'd been caught. I told her I didn't really appreciate the movie and no longer wanted to watch it.  She had this HUGE sigh of relief and said she felt the same way.  She saw me get up and noticed I didn't come back and wondered if I left for the same reasons she wanted to leave.  So we sat there and talked.  Assistance from the Lord? yes.  Peace? yes.  Guidance? yes. Because I left she had the courage to leave also and the Lord ensured that we were not alone in our valiant choice as embarrassing as it felt.  By the end of the movie two more of our friends staggered there way into the room I found and stated they wished they had left sooner.

Your typical primary "movie scenario"? Maybe. But looking back on that choice, I recognize the Lord's hand in my life at that time as He provided friends, peace, and means for me to make the right decision.  Yes the other friends wondered why we left and passed judgments, but I am grateful to know I made the right choice. And grateful the Lord helped ease the burden a bit.  I am grateful for the Lord and the help that He gives us.  The assurance that we are not alone, and when we are obedient to Him, He will guide and protect us.

Believe

Lesson Learned:

"God is eagerly waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill  your dreams, just as He always has.  But He can't if you don't pray, and He can't if you don't dream.  In short, He can't if you don't believe." 

-Jeffry R. Holland

Convenient Service

Today in church my friend made a comment about service.  It really has stuck hard with me.  She shared how she has been striving to give more service.  She wondered if she has been doing enough service lately and really struggled with this thought.  Then a man she works with said this statement:

Lesson Learned:
"If it is convenient for you, then it is probably not service."

um...ouch. Haha. Seriously, ouch. My heart just sank. I learned today. A real good one. Service is sacrifice. Sacrifice for others.  Do I only serve when it is convenient for me? How selfish. Christ didn't wait for when it was convenient for Him to Atone for our sins in Gethsemane.  He didn't wait for when he had nothing to do to wash the feet of His apostles, or calm the seas in a raging storm, or heal the sick, or perform miracles, or raise the dead. In fact, He never did it on "His time".  His whole life was for "our time". He didn't live for Himself, He lived for us. I think I can give up some of "my time" to do visiting teaching, or make dinner for a neighbor, or take a young woman to school...
When, in fact, it really isn't "my time" anyways. It's His.