Love

My sweet Aunt Leslie's words:
"I started this week in the wee morning hours of Saturday, November 26th pleading to the Lord to keep my sweet husband, Gary alive. We ended this week in the wee morning hours on Saturday, December 3rd praying for his release. Friday evening family gathered and we held a short family meeting where my Father shared some scriptures with us from the Savior's last hours. My elder brother then gave Gary a beautiful blessing for peace and release. Because of some delays caused by the necessary steps to be taken for Gary's wishes of being an organ donor, we waited for the call for the go ahead with removing respiration. We received that call around 1:00am. They removed respiration around 1:20am but he didn't pass until 6:48 am. It was painful to watch him struggling to hold on to life. But there was a sweet peace upon his passing. I can't even begin to imagine how Heavenly Father was able to watch his Son on the cross. What a beautiful message for me to turn to this same atonement for strength, comfort, and peace.
We have truly felt the prayers and love that have gone out in our behalf. It is only through these that I am still standing. Daniel and I returned home on Saturday evening. Carli & Bo have joined us for the coming week. I know many of you want to touch base but a few days without visitors will allow us to get our feet on the ground. We are just beginning funeral service arrangements but it looks likely to be held on Thursday, December 8th. I will check both email and text messages. We are so blessed. All is well."
Leslie Burt

Lesson Learned:


I have been amazed at what the love of a family can do.  It is no wonder the Lord's plan is centered on the family.  I have learned so much in the past few days, things that I will cherish forever and hold dear to my heart, things I probably should keep between me and the Lord. It has truly been a gift to see so close at hand the will of the Lord and His plan for His children.  He truly is a merciful God of all and His plan is perfect. My heart aches for Leslie and her dear children Chris & Giannina, Carli & Bo, Spencer (currently in England serving a mission for the Lord), and Daniel. They are an amazing family and have held strong together during this tragic time in their lives. I pray they each have the comfort and strength they need to withstand the heartache. 

“He died not for men, but for each man. If each man had been the only man made, He would have done no less.” 
― C.S. Lewis

Love is a powerful thing. The love of family. The love of friends. The love of our Heavenly Father. The love of the Savior. Love heals, binds, and gives hope.  His love is perfect and endless.  This love has been felt this past week in our family and we are extremely grateful. 

My uncle Ben posted a few pictures in tribute of a great man.  I don't know if everyone can look at them because it's his face book page but you can sure give it a try. Gary Burt- Fish on, my friend.

Peace, faith, gratitude

Last week we found out my husband got the engineer slot in the Air Force, we have been waiting for a very long time (last March) to find this out. And in waiting, it's interesting the things that have happened that have prepared me for my future as a military wife. Even after he put in for the slot I STILL didn't love the idea of the military. I struggled, really struggled. It's hard to explain the emotions felt but lets just say it was not something I dreamed about as a little girl.

Something changed in the last few months. I don't know exactly when it happened but I know what made it happen. My feelings of fear, anger, sadness, and abandonment have almost all but left me. In their place, I have deep gratitude and peace. 

Gratitude for my Heavenly Father, Savior, family, friends, strangers I've crossed paths with, and my country. Especially for my Heavenly Father and Savior. I put my complete faith and trust in them. My whole future. No back up plan. And in doing that one thing, they gave me more then I even bargained for.  Not only did the Lord take care of me and reassure to me that He will ALWAYS be there to take care of me but He gave me many life experiences that has taught me some very valuable things the past couple months. My perspective on a lot things has changed, and to that I am deeply grateful. My days are filled with more joy because of this perspective. I am more grateful for the little things. Like that old guy at the grocery store who stopped to simply try and make my son smile. He will never know that because of him and his friendliness, I'm not scared anymore to go grocery shopping (because of the shooting by my house).  Silly but really.
I am proud to say that I am still nervous, but I am excited. I'm excited to see what my future holds and happy to be a military wife. To support my husband and my country. I have faith knowing the Lord's plan for my little family is important and that He will always be there along the way.

Lesson Learned:
"I will not leave you comfortless, I will come to you." (John 14:18)
"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." (John 14:27)


A very very good friend of mine, some one who I look up to and that I hold very dear to my heart told this to me once (she knows who she is):

"Fear knocked
Faith answered
Nothing was there"


Faith is real. It works. The Lord is real. He is there. He answers prayers. And He will never leave us. I know that to be true because I have tried faith and have felt His guiding hand in my life. Even in the darkest moments. To that I will be forever grateful.

Motherhood

{caution: one very long rambling post}
I got my wisdom teeth removed this past weekend and it has been quite the experience. Funny thing is I learned something I didn't think I would learn through this whole process. I learned about motherhood.

Everyday, I get up with Porter.  I get him out and he usually likes to cuddle with me. We usually spend the first few minutes of being awake laying in my bed while I read my scriptures and he plays on my ipod or flips through a book as well. We then proceed to make the bed, brush our teeth, get breakfast  etc... Most days are pretty much the same. Some vary depending on if it's laundry day, I have errands to run, places to go to, but all in all my days are spent taking care of this little man. He goes everywhere with me. He does everything with me. My day revolves around him. If I need to get something done that is a little more delicate like a craft I have to wait to put him down for a nap to work on it. If I want to go somewhere I have to time it so it's not during lunch or nap time or he is one grumpy kid on that particular errand.  I have to make sure to shower at times when I know he won't be destroying the house or getting into danger.  My house is a never ending cleaning chore. There's always laundry. Always dishes to do. Always vacuuming needed to be done.  No matter how many times I clean out that high chair it is never clean cause he just eats in it an hour later.  There's always picking up to do. I don't think there is ever a time it stays clean longer then 5 minutes unless we are gone.  I don't sit down much. Whether I'm cleaning or Porter is constantly needing help with something, or he needs a snack, or he needs this or he needs that. There is always something. I am always needed. Motherhood.

I never wanted to be the typical family where the husband works and the wife slaves away at home. Where there is no compromise.  It's just how it is.  I wanted something a little bit more. Just a little bit more compromise. Teamwork. However, I've always wanted to be a "stay-at-home" mom, that's why I chose the career I did, so I could support a family if I need to but I can also do it at home with my children. I don't ever think I realized what a "stay-at-home" mother entailed.  I got to a point a few weeks ago where I was in desperate need of change. My life felt very routine. I've been doing the same thing for a year and a half.  I wondered if being the "stay-at-home" mom was worth it. I wondered if I was even needed. If I was even making a difference.  I was so sick of cleaning that high chair out and changing the poopy diapers everyday, it was getting old. I started to wonder why? Why is it up to me to get all that done? Why is it my job?  Why is it I take care of Porter all day and then as soon as papa comes home he just wants him. He doesn't want me. Is my work even noticed. I don't have a pay check to prove my hard work. I don't have a boss that gives me good ratings. Sometimes I feel like I work so hard and then it just was forgotten by the end of the day.

Lesson Learned:
"No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you, with an infinite love."
(President Dieter F. Uchtdorf)

This talk is amazing. It really really really helped me.  There were so many good things said. Everybody keeps posting it and recommend reading it, well I recommend listening to it or reading it if you haven't yet. No matter the stage of life you are in.


It hit me this weekend, really hard. I woke up Saturday morning in a lot of pain from the surgery the day before. Porter was crying. He woke up and the first thing I wanted to do was get him out of his crib and love him. Then I realized I couldn't. I couldn't move. I was incapable of being a mother this weekend. My husband did an amazing job at taking care of me and Porter.  I am so grateful.  But I learned this weekend that I am truly blessed to be a mother. I've known of many mother's who lost the ability to be a mother. (My prayers continue to go out to you.) I didn't lose a child this weekend, or permanently lose my ability to function as a human being but for a short time I couldn't be a mother. It hurt. As grateful as I was to be able to rest and heal and have my husband take care of everything, it took all I had to not get up and just start being a mom. I ached for it. I couldn't talk much either so I couldn't even tell Brian what to do. I just had to sit there and let him do it. Figure it out. Through out the weekend Porter would be sad and want to come give me a love, I couldn't even give him a normal love because I was afraid he would accidentally deck me in the mouth.  I started to realize that I truly do love doing what I do. Heavenly Father has entrusted me with one of His greatest gifts, Motherhood. I am truly blessed. I learned this weekend that I enjoy every minute of it.  At times it may seem stressful and that I go unnoticed but I realized that the greatest work I can be doing is what I'm doing. I am important.  And the best part is is I realized that it brings me so much joy. Funny how it's when lose what you have, that's when you appreciate it. Or at least you really take the time to think about appreciating it. I am grateful to be a mom. I am grateful to clean that stinking high chair out 4 times a day. Why because it reminds me that I am building a better foundation for one of Heavenly Father's children. There is nothing greater then watching your child learn and grow.  The moments when they fold their arms for the first time for prayer, or they say thank you with out you asking, or they come and give you a hug just because, those are the moments that make it worth it. The moments that give you the joy.  I will forever remember this weekend, not because of the pain and agony I went through (still trying to heal) but because I learned. I learned that I am truly blessed to be a mother. And that I truly enjoy being a mother. (all that comes with it) I will always be grateful for that knowledge and try not to take it for granted. Another tender mercy found for me. Now on to the rest of my day, being a mom. :) 

Grateful

Lesson Learned:
"If you woke up this morning with only the things you thanked your Heavenly Father for in your prayers last night, what would you have?"
-unknown

french horn or a piccolo?

Lessons Learned:
"Truly, we may each be an instrument in the hands of God. Happily, we need not all be the same kind of instrument. Just as the instruments in an orchestra differ in size, shape, and sound, we too are different from one another. We have different talents and inclinations, but just as the French horn cannot duplicate the sound of the piccolo, neither is it necessary for us to all serve the Lord in the same way." 

(Mary Ellen Smoot)

"...No one else can do what you can do. Please do not compare yourself to others; rather bloom where you’re planted! "

 ( Janet Bradford)

"...Sometimes we question our promptings because of what I call the ‘smallness factor’.  We think that because the Lord wants us to do just a tiny thing that it is not important.  This is wrong..."

 (Janet Bradford) 

We each have our own specific purposes in this life. The Lord's work, ALL the Lord's work is important and of great worth to Him. It needs to be done. We are those that need to do it. No matter how big or small a task may feel it is still the Lord's work. I am grateful to know that as an individual, I am required to serve in my own way. 'No one else can do what I can do'  The Lord needs me over here while He needs you over there. It is all the same. It is His work. I hope to be better at 'blooming where I'm planted' so to speak. And use my talents and strengths to serve in my way. 

Fathers

I am grateful for all the Fathers in my life. I am grateful for my husband and the great father that he is. I am grateful to have the Priesthood in my home. It brings such wonderful blessings.

Lesson Learned:

Rainy Days

The past few weeks have been some tough ones for me. Between sick baby, car troubles, car accident, and other  such stresses (that seemed to keep piling on, a kick me while I'm down kinda stress) things have finally started looking up (knock on wood). I can't help but feel grateful for times like these past few weeks because they tend to teach me more then any other time of life. 
It seems as though it hasn't stopped raining for a good month. And as everyone sits here and complains, I'll be honest I have loved the rain. Yes I wish it were warmer, and yes the days sometimes seem a little dreary but there is something about rain that just makes me happy. My sister Sara wrote a blog post about the such dreary weather and I really liked it.  
Lessons Learned:
"Sometimes our lives are rainy, when we want and even expect them to be sunny.  There will even be times when it is rainy for days on end and it seems like the world will not stop dumping on us. If we let them, those times might stop us from remembering and appreciating the sunny days we do have. (And we have had some beautiful, sunny days this month) But, if we remember to count our blessings, I believe we can find a measure of gratitude for the rainy times, and enjoy the sunny times that much more. I also believe that we can have moments of peace and calm, even when the storm is raging around us.Finally, I believe that sometimes we need the rain, even if we think we don't want it or need it. Flowers need both the sun and the rain to help them grow and flourish, just as we need both blessings and trials to help us grow spiritually. Sometimes we need the rain.

I still wish we could see a little more of the sun right now, but I know it will come.
It always does."
-Sara Carruth


I'm grateful for the rainy days because sometimes I think it's Heavenly Father giving me a little reminder of all the good things in my life. Another tender mercy found for me. 

A great work

I am so very blessed to have the mom I have. She will always be apart of who I am. Certain things I do are because of her. Parts of my testimony have been established because of her. She is the most loving and generous woman out there. She has taught me more then I deserve. I am grateful for her and for her service to me in raising me. I am grateful for her testimony and the strength she shows through tough times. I am a better person because of her. She will always be my mom and for that I am eternally blessed.
I am also very blessed to have the mother-in-law that I have. She loves me unconditionally. She is always caring for me as if I am her own child. She would do anything for me.  She hasn't been in my life that long but the time she has she has taught me a great deal. I am grateful for her example and for raising such a valiant, hardworking, loving boy. I am eternally in debt to her for giving me such an honorable man. I know he is the man he is today because of her.
I am also very blessed today because I am a mom. It has been a day of full emotions for me. As I sit and think back on the past year watching my little boy grow it amazes me. I sit here today in awe. In awe that Heavenly Father would send such a sweet perfect little boy to not perfect little me. The trust He has. I am grateful for the great honor of being a mother, I am truly blessed. It is a great joy.
I couldn't help but feel not worthy of such a day as this, as I see several people around me struggling with the loss of a child, or not being able to bare a child. I do not fully understand the pain they must be feeling on this day. But to them I am grateful for the strength they carry. I am grateful for the examples of these women. For their courage to keep facing each day.
Thank you to all the great women in my life who have strengthened, lifted, taught, and raised me! I only hope I can pass on to my children and people in my life the great lessons I have learned from you.

Lesson Learned:
"The greatest work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own home."
-Unknown

Tender Mercies

Yesterday for our mutual activity our Stake Young Women's president so graciously stepped in and planned the activity this week. It was fantastic. She had the Stake Patriarch come and talk to us a little bit more about patriarchal blessings. He started talking about tender mercies and how our lives are filled daily with them.  We watched some of Elder Bednar's talk on Tender Mercies he gave a few years back and it was such a great reminder. A reminder that the Lord is always giving us tender mercies.  He said as along as we are doing what is right to the best of our abilities and striving to do what we need to, to keep the spirit in our lives we receive those tender mercies. Tender mercies do not come randomly and they are not coincidental. They are of God. And happen for a reason.   

BUT as I was driving home today from hanging out at my mom's house I was listening to music on the radio and a song I like came on. Before I knew it I was deep in thought, completely calmed by the music, and entranced on the road (safely of course). It hit me, as we study, ponder, pray, and strive to more fully live the gospel we are inviting the spirit to stay. And as the spirit stays with us or as we are more in tune with the spirit, it is then we are able to more clearly see the tender mercies in our lives. They happen all around us. All the time. On purpose. It is up to us to be in tune with the spirit and recognize them when they come. 

I had a tender mercy (one that I noticed) today. It was as simple as driving home and listening to music. The Lord knows I love music and knows it is a thinking time for me when I listen to it. He then took that moment and turned it into a teaching moment (a tender mercy). Not only was it a teaching moment but it was a reminder that I have a good life. A great life. I have a sweet baby boy, a wonderful husband, and all the love and support I can get. I am truly blessed. And I'm grateful that for today, I realized that. I'm grateful to know that whatever my future holds I will always have that. I have the love of my sweet husband, my gracious little boy, my family, my friends, and most importantly the love of my Savior and Heavenly Father. What more could someone ask for.

Lessons Learned:

Be sure to push pause on my music below!

Humility

Lesson Learned:
"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking less about yourself."
 -President Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Pride.

Wow. Thanksgiving came and went. And I'm hoping so did my pride. Some things happened this week that Brian and I definitely learned from. We found ourselves being covetous. Silly, when we are so blessed. We have everything and more then we possibly need. We have been extremely blessed. And of course the time of year when we should be most thankful for what we have we fail to give thanks. After we finally realized how prideful we were being we had a little talk and decided to change things. We changed our mind set. We suddenly realized everything we have is from the Lord. We have been so blessed. I keep repeating that but really we are.  The rest of the weekend we spent trying to focus on being more grateful and not so much on what we don't have or what we don't get to do. We tried to put our focus more on giving. Pride is such a nasty cycle. And no matter how much we try to avoid it, it always seems to slip back in to the picture and then we have to push it back out before some real damage has been done. The Lord has given us everything we have. He has provided us with this life. All the things we do, opportunities we get come from Him. How silly it is for us to forget that. Forget that you would not even be reading this if it weren't for His blessings He has provided. This time of year there seem to be two types of people. The type that get so carried away in the worldliness of Christmas and then the type that seem to do nothing but give more and more without once ever thinking of themselves. The ones who don't even get a Christmas. What would the world be like without all the Christmas hype. All the presents. All the craziness. All the Pride. We would be simply celebrating the birth of Christ.  What joy. After all, His birth was the start of such greatness. The start of the life of a man who provided the world for us. Provided peace. Provided the atonement. A way out. Such love and mercy from this Man. Eternal life. Hope. What more can we do for this Man then to show our appreciation. Celebrate Him. Do as He has done. Give. Sacrifice. Love unconditionally.
Lesson Learned:

(Alma 26: 35-37)

"Now have we not reason to rejoice? Yea, I say unto you, there never were men that had so great reason to rejoice as we, since the world began; yea, and my joy is carried away, even unto boasting in my God; for he has all power, all wisdom, and all understanding; he comprehendeth all things, and he is a merciful Being, even unto salvation, to those who will repent and believe on his name. 

Now if this is boasting, even so will I boast; for this is my life and my light, my joy and my savlation, and my redemption from everlasting wo....

Now my brethen, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen."

I would hope that this time of year that we can all take the time and effort to sacrifice a bit more for others. Give thanks a bit more. Do something a bit more then you have in the past. Make it a more joyful time of year for people. Give a bit more. Remember Him. Give as He does. Love as He does. 

Sisters

I love this story:

"I walked into the house, exhausted. It had been a long day, and I was starving. I sat at the table while my mom made dinner, telling her everything I had done that day. All of a sudden my little sister, Cherri, was at my side. She twisted her hands together nervously and didn’t quite look at me. “What happened?” I asked, not feeling very sympathetic. “You know your pearl necklace?” she replied in a small voice. “Well, I was playing with it, and it broke.” A million thoughts raced through my head. How many times had I told her not to play in my room or with my things? The necklace was hardly important, but that was beside the point. She had ignored my warnings one too many times. Somehow I managed to bite my tongue, and an exasperated sigh escaped my lips. “Come on, show me where it is,” I said. She took my hand and led me to my room. Pearls littered the floor, which wasn’t exactly clean to begin with. “What have I told you about playing in my room, Cherri?” “Not to,” she mumbled. “Okay, then, why did you?” I pressed. She just shrugged her little shoulders and looked at the floor. “I’m really sorry,” she said. “Help me clean them up, and don’t play in here again,” I said. She did so and left the room, and I put the incident behind me. The next day, I came home to an ecstatic Cherri. She grabbed my hand, jumping up and down. “I have something for you!” she said. “Sit here on the couch and I’ll be right back.” She raced downstairs and returned a few minutes later cradling something in her hands. “Here, I made it for you all by myself,” she said proudly. “Mom didn’t even help me at all!” She held out her little arms so I could see what she had made. Laying in her hands was a scrap of frayed black ribbon strung with meticulously arranged yellow and white plastic beads.“It’s a necklace!” she said, jumping up and down again. “I made it for you because I broke your other one. Do you like it?”I smiled. The necklace was a bit tacky, and yet it was beautiful. “Yes, Cherri, I love it.” I put it on and wore it the rest of the day to show my appreciation. I was so glad that I hadn’t yelled at my sister in anger and made her feel like I didn’t love her.I kept her little token of restitution in my drawer, a constant reminder that a pearl necklace could never be as special or beautiful as my frayed black ribbon with yellow and white plastic beads from a precious younger sister.”
(Liora Johns Phillips, “Pearls and Plastic Beads,” NewEra, Mar 2008, 22–23)

“So many of us make a great fuss of matters of small consequence. We are so easily offended. … I plead with you to control your tempers, to put a smile upon your faces, which will erase anger; speak out with words of love and peace, appreciation, and respect. If you will do this, your lives will be without regret. Your marriages and family relationships will be preserved. You will be much happier. You will do greater good. You will feel a sense of peace that will be wonderful.”

(President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Slow to Anger,” Ensign, Nov. 2007, 63–66.)

Being the younger sister is never easy growing up, but being the older sister might be a bit harder.  Oh the joys of sisterhood!  I love this story because it reminded me of me and my older sister.  And then it reminded me of me and my younger sisters.  Oh dear, I’ve been on both ends.  Unfortunately I don’t ever remember being that nice to my younger sisters though when they bothered me like that.  But I do remember looking up to my sister thinking she was the best person in the whole world, and if only I could be just like her, wear her clothes, have her friends, be her age, do what she does, say what she says, eat what she eats…etc…(You know what I’m talking about if you are a younger sister).  There is something special about the relationships that Heavenly Father lets us sisters have.  We truly are blessed.  So don’t take it for granted.  Lessons learned:

1.    It’s better to ask permission then forgiveness.

2. President Hinckley was a great man and had many wonderful things to say.

3.  Read the church magazines. They have great stories. 

4. Stop to think before you choose to get offended or angry.

5.  Love your sisters.  They can become some of your best friends.  True that.

6.  It’s ok to want to be like your older sister.

7. It’s ok for your younger sisters to want to be just like you and try to copy everything you do.

8. Bitterness only hurts you.